Gone are the days when marriage was based on a couple’s undying love. Today even a woman can propose to the man of her choice. In the earlier days it was a man‘s role, with the involvement of the larger community, to select the mother of his children. Although culture is progressive, a lot has changed regarding marriage. I once attended an Introduction ceremony (Gusaba) and the family was present but the groom was not there in person; his portrait was placed in the very chair he was supposed to sit in. next to the portrait was the blushing bride, smiling ear to ear. How was it possible to keep smiling when the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life could not even bother to  show up for the Introduction? I asked around why this was happening and I was told that the groom lived in Canada and, because he hadn’t yet attained citizenship, he couldn’t risk being denied a visa if he came back home. I always thought someones portrait can only be used for public display when the person dies but at this rate anything is possible! I don’t want to judge the bride–to–be and I honestly think she was under pressure to get married, thus this strange ceremony. I don’t think it can be a girl’s wish to introduce a picture of her fiancé to her family and friends if she has another option, like waiting for him to come back. Therefore, you 21st century women need to be realistic and get rid of the check-list when choosing the man you are going to spend the rest of your lives with. They set the standard so high that every man that comes their way, when assessed, doesn’t fit the template they have imagined for the kind of man they want to marry. It’s only when age catches up with them that they make such radical decisions to marry come what may, leading to the above scenario and the like. Let’s look for the simple things such as love, care and understanding and the rest will fall in place. Marriages based on convenience are currently de rigueur thus the high rate of divorce today.