Dear Aunt Kiki,

I dated a girl some years ago and I was very clear about my relationship with her from the beginning. I told her that I do not want a child and she agreed to that effect. Now after three years of dating she conceived and that marked the end of our relationship because she violated our agreement.

She gave birth to a child who is now four years old and has started attending school. A few months ago the lady called me and asked to be helped in the upkeep of the baby, failure to which she will sue me. Can I be protected legally?TonyDear Tony,There is no court of law which will listen to your crap! Show me a written rule that says that only women should be the ones protecting themselves from pregnancy? Why dint you take that initiative as well to protect the lady from conceiving have you ever heard of the word condom? What baffles me is that even in the time of enjoying yourself, at the back of your mind you knew that something will definitely come out of this unprotected sex; yet you went ahead and enjoyed and did nothing about protecting yourself. Can you imagine what it would be if it was not the pregnancy? Do you know that some of these rules and agreements we talk about are what drive some other people to be involved in extra affairs?

Is you ask me, there is nothing as an oral agreement; any agreement that can be honored by the court of law, even so- after thorough scrutiny is a written agreement; without that your case holds no water my friend.Listen Tony, its time you grow up. I know it hurts that the lady violated the so called "agreement” and conceived, but again the truth of the matter is that there is a child involved here, and you as the father must help the mother take care of it -pronto!Truth be told, when a child is conceived whether intentionally or not, it involves two people, so why do some men leave all the burden to the mother in the pretext that they are not ready to be fathers? What I have not heard –is that they are not ready for sex! I mean grow up! The child is here and too bad it’s not revisable, so the only man thing for you to do now , is sit with the mother of your child and forge a way forward on how best to take care of that child. Remember that she is not asking for your hand in marriage! She is just asking for some little help-so that she can provide for your child and give her the best in this life that one can afford.Something that you ought to put in mind is that; this child has your blood, you never know where the wind of time will taker her. Just imagine one day you meet this girl a very prosperous person, would you even have the guts to point out to anyone that she is indeed your own flesh and blood?

Think twice my dear, some of these decisions that we make when we are young, catch up with us later in life, and unfortunately sometimes when they do, they are not very kind on you. Be a man and take care of your daughter, do not involve this innocent angel in your wars.