Auntie’s corner

Dear Aunt Silvia, My fiancée and I have been going out for one year and six months now and I feel this has been ample time for us to know each. I am bracing myself to propose to her, but I have one issue. While I am a teetotaller, she cherishes her glass of wine; we also come from two different religions.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Dear Aunt Silvia,My fiancée and I have been going out for one year and six months now and I feel this has been ample time for us to know each. I am bracing myself to propose to her, but I have one issue. While I am a teetotaller, she cherishes her glass of wine; we also come from two different religions.

While she is a staunch Catholic and regular church goer, I am a diehard protestant but I do not go to church; unfortunately none of us is willing to change religion to accommodate the other.

How do I go about this situation, deep down I know she is the only lady I want to be with because she is so loving, kind and a fun person to be with.Bruce Dear Bruce,Love does not know colour, race or religion. If you love someone you can do all crazy things in the name of love. You being a Protestant and your fiancée being a Catholic does not matter, what matters is how the two of you feel for each other. Religion is not something that can make two people in love not fulfil the dream of being together! The two of you have to sit down and come to a compromise.You must also know by now that not all of us are the same. If you look at the fingers on your hands, none is like the other and so are we.

The fact that your fiancée enjoys her glass of wine I see nothing with that, unless you want to tell me that she is a drunkard, then that is another matter altogether. If it is a person who enjoys her glass of wine every now and then, then let her be.Better the devil you know than the angel you don’t! Just because your fiancée has let you see this side of her does not make her any more evil my dear.

I can tell you that there are many men and women out there who smoke and drink themselves silly, yet they hide these habits from their spouses. Would you have preferred she hid her glass of wine from you?Bruce, what you need to do  is sit down with your fiancée and talk out these small issues, believe you me these are not big issues that cannot be resolved, even the biggest issues in this world can be solved.

Forget about her glass of wine, if the good lady enjoys her glass of wine when you are together then please let her have it, a glass of wine is good for the heart after all- there is nothing wrong when a lady enjoys her drink once in a while. Religion is what the two of you must discuss in ernest. There is something that you mentioned here; in as much as you are a diehard protestant you don’t go to church, then why do you want her to follow your religion while you do not practice it?

It will be very unfair if you force your fiancée to change her religion only for you to leave her hanging after the wedding. You are forgetting that after honeymoon life goes back to normal and children will start coming in. children always need someone to guide them. You want your family to be your religion yet you are not practicing it. What exactly are you trying to tell them?The answer is right in front of you; be a man and make decisions that will not hurt your family in the future. The ball is in your court now, play the game the best way you know how.