…always make weak New Year resolutions. It is 2012 and since the year is still new, some people are in the habit of talking about their New Year resolutions but some have in the process only earned themselves a slot on this page. I simply hate anyone who goes on talking about their weak resolutions as if the world rotates on them. The other day I overheard a mentally retarded chap telling his friend, "This year my resolution is to stop using Facebook.” Don’t such people really have better things to do with their sorry lives? I just pray I don’t meet such people this year again.

…think their debts will just vanish because it is a new year. It is always very annoying when you find someone making so much effort in a foolish endeavour. Take for instance the joker who recently told me, "Boss, the money you lent me was for last year so this year we are on a new page.” Now who told this joker that I lend money that expires when a new year comes? Just because we have changed the year you think you can just cheat me like that. I do not want to make you a statistic of a heavy beating in 2012 so, please, spare me those pedestrian arguments and pay up before I slap you and your relatives.

…sit on top of a desk as they chat with fellow workers. As if by design, you’ll find that in most work places there is that fellow who leaves his (many of them are men) brains outside the office each day. The one who foolishly thinks it is cool to sit on the desk and engage in idle talk with another staff member. Most of the time people in such shameful sitting positions will engage in a lot of unconstructive talk that does not benefit the company. In this New Year, I beg that such people are sacked and replaced with well mannered ones. Before that happens you can try to make life hard for them by putting glue on your table.

…continue terrorising our people with grenades. I was very bitter to hear of a grenade attack on innocent Rwandans at the beginning of the year. The cowards involved in these terrorist tactics should know that apart from the security organisations of Rwanda, I also hate them but a little more. I wonder how such cowards made it with us to 2012 considering that we really don’t need them. If you are spoiling for a fight why don’t you confront the army and get your deserved beating instead of wasting our time. I don’t think hating is enough when it comes to people like you.

…go shopping with the whole family. One of these days I may have to beat the living day lights out of someone in a shopping mall. I am so sick and tired of people who think that places like Nakumatt or Simba supermarket should be visited as a family. Please, remember that you are in a shopping centre not a museum so there is no point in bringing your six children and spouse just to buy a few groceries. Only one person is enough and the rest should stay at home instead of crowding the place for serious shoppers like The Hater. As for the small kid running around, that one I will slap very soon. I am so annoyed by these people that sometimes I walk away the moment I see them.

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The Hater