Society Debate: Would you date a friend’s ex?

Love has no boundaries People have always associated misfortune and disaster with the act of hinting on a friend’s former lover, but I’m here to tell you that come rain or sunshine, there is no limit to what you should do to finally clutch onto that long awaited true love. I have come to realize that most of the time, love is an accidental emotion; people don’t choose who to love, over time, they just find themselves falling head over heels for someone. Although they might assume that the feeling is just a crush, the longevity of those stomach butterflies might just turn out to be a strong emotion of love.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Love has no boundaries

People have always associated misfortune and disaster with the act of hinting on a friend’s former lover, but I’m here to tell you that come rain or sunshine, there is no limit to what you should do to finally clutch onto that long awaited true love.

I have come to realize that most of the time, love is an accidental emotion; people don’t choose who to love, over time, they just find themselves falling head over heels for someone. Although they might assume that the feeling is just a crush, the longevity of those stomach butterflies might just turn out to be a strong emotion of love.

There is a ridiculous rule being followed out there, particularly by women who believe that once they’ve dated a man, then he is off limits to all her friends. Men do have that rule as well, but because they somehow move on a little faster than women, to a new "catch”, they are sometimes insensitive to what happens in the lives of ex-lovers.

In some weird instances, they even give their friends a go ahead to date their ex as part of the ego restoration. This can never happen with women; they’d rather be crushed by a ten tone truck than glimpse their buddy flirting with an ex.

When it comes to falling in love, it transcends all understanding.  Love is a unique feeling that God imparted in us which we can’t fight against, even the person with the darkest heart on earth eventually finds that fair maiden who sweeps him off his feet.

Century after century, lovebirds have eloped from families, broken cultural and religious values to glue together amidst storms of excommunication and murder. Now what is this mere "ex factor” in the wake of such brave deeds that people attempted for love?

Don’t be fooled by ‘rules’ that shackle you and prevent you from grasping the happiness you have pursued for long. If anything, it is a selfish and unfriendly deed for people to believe that their ex lovers are out of bounds to their friends.

If someone couldn’t hold on to a man or woman, maybe because you lost interest, or no longer feel compatible, or worse, that they were dumped for being not man or woman enough, why would that person still hold on to a lost cause? Other than for the reason of being uncomfortably insecure, why would they even suggest it to friends that they shouldn’t try out a love relationship with someone they discarded?

Yes, you should put friends first but equally important as well, they should also put everything aside and put you first, it is a two way thing. So, if someone confides in a friend that they have fallen for their ex, instead of pride deciding for them, they should be happy for their friends…hard as it may come.

If love comes in the mix, especially when it is true love, it’s not easy to flash away just because it might hurt a few people along the way.