…simply don’t want to learn from history.

I wish I could get permission from the United Nations to slap some world leaders for their stupidity. There is this one in Syria who continues to kill his own people as if he has not seen the video of Col. Gadaffi’s brutal end.

I am sure as a president of the country he can afford a large TV screen on which he must have clearly seen what happened in Libya. My generosity with slaps would also be quickly extended to Field Marshall Tantawi of Egypt who together with his military buddies seems to be repeating the mistakes that cost Hosni Mubarak his job. These guys don’t need NATO just my hot slaps should be enough.  

…just can never mind their own business.

On this one I expect you to stand up and hate with me unless you are the one I am talking about. Actually I am talking about landlords who think that just because I pay rent and sleep in your house I am suddenly your son or daughter.

Oh how I hate those guys who keep thinking they can come to your house at any time and find out all the things you are doing. Some will even have the courage to inform you that they have not seen or chatted with you as if your rent is charged in terms of conversations and not Rwanda Francs.

…have made a hobby out of offering bad news.

Have you met those gloomy faced waitresses who seem to be earning more just to tell you what is not available in a restaurant? The ones who have memorised statements like, hasigaye ibishimbo gusa. I always wonder why they even come to work if their job includes talking of things that are not available.

I thought a restaurant was there to offer meals to hungry people who are ready to pay for it instead of hundreds of lousy apologies about what is not available.

Can anyone from Rwanda Development Board, please, tell me whether there are some companies that are registered to offer apologies and not services? I am waiting.  

…have turned borrowing into some kind of annoying art.

Sometimes I think some people were sent on earth just to piss the rest of us off and that way I can write this column each week. Take the example of that guy at work or at home who seems addicted to borrowing and hardly ever returns anything.

I am talking about the one who will borrow your pen and before you know it, does not even know where he put it. He borrows almost everything he sees on your desk. Please, if you know such annoying borrowers, let me know so that I can invite them to a dark corner and punch some sense into their frozen brains.   

…have perfected the art of pretending to work.

I don’t even see why I have to explain this one. No I am not lazy and unable to complete this article. I am just too annoyed. I will go ahead and explain because my editor does not accept blanks, doesn’t even want blank spaces on this page just because I am angry. Can I just say that all of you with a habit of pretending to work just because the boss has walked in deserve to look for me so that I can slap you on the nose? You were hired to do a job not to spend time liking my status updates on Facebook.

 And if you really think pretending to work is ok then I am going to advise your boss to pretend paying you the November salary and we see what happens. After all I have done my job of hating without pretending.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293