…think we need to know every useless detail.

I wish I knew who exactly to hate in this case. I mean the name of the person who came up with the idea of adding things like "sent from my BlackBerry or iPhone” each time someone posts something on Facebook. Who says we are interested in the type of phone one is using. All we need to know is what they posted. As if that is not enough we even have posts saying things like. Sent from near Kigali? Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? So places near Kigali have no names now? I need to find out the guy at Facebook who came up with this nonsense that I hate so much. 

…are unpatriotic enough to plan and dodge Umuganda.

Now this is a day that is clearly known by all as the last Saturday of each month when we all join hands to do general cleaning of our communities. However there are some fools who have attracted my hatred by continuously deciding to party heavily on the Friday before Umuganda only to spend the next day sleeping while other good citizens do the cleaning. These are just a bunch of losers who I think do not even bother to clean themselves or their homes. I think they should be forced to clean the bars and nightclubs where they prefer to spend their time. Maybe clubs should not stay open till late before this day.

…tell me to listen when I am obviously listening.

 I am really sick and tired of people who call me and the first thing they say is umva. I know you are telling me to listen but does it occur to you that by the time I picked up my phone I was ready to listen. So what exactly are you telling me now. If I did not want to listen then I would not pick up. Telling me to listen (umva) is like telling a guy who walked into a restaurant, to eat!  I think it’s simply rude to call me and then when I pick up to listen you tell me to listen! The next person who tells me to listen when I answer the phone may have to listen to something else. 

…treat house helps as if they are less of human beings.

One of these days the parliament should pass a law allowing me to visit some homes with a big stick to pump sense in some people’s heads. It is very disturbing to see someone mistreating his/her house help yet these are the same people who take care of you everyday. If you do not enjoy being mistreated by your boss at work why then should you mistreat the ‘kadogo’ at home? Now these are the people that I hate in capital letters. You cannot even fetch a jerry can of water or clean the house but you have the energy to insult your maid everyday. Shame upon you.

…swallow so many goals yet they are paid as goalkeepers.

I am paid to hate and each time I feel love taking on over I get worried. I therefore hate anyone who fails to do their job but continues to demand a salary for no work done. The other time I heard that the Arsenal FC goalie had swallowed eight goals from Manchester United. Then the Manchester United goalie followed the example and was scored six goals by the strikers of Manchester City. The Chelsea keeper settled for five goals. What do these guys tell their wives when they go home? "Honey, I am back from work.” Which work?

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293