Samalie and Tony have been married for five and a half years now.While they were still dating, he always complemented her cooking skills.However, three years down the road, that has changed—Tony is Samalie’s number one critic every time she cooks.
Samalie and Tony have been married for five and a half years now.While they were still dating, he always complemented her cooking skills.However, three years down the road, that has changed—Tony is Samalie’s number one critic every time she cooks.
"He always finds an excuse to eat out. He will complain about the quantity of salt in the food I have cooked, the type of food or even the time the meals are served,” says Samalie.
Like Samalie, many women are married to men who prefer to eat out at restaurants than dine at the table with their wives in their own homes.
Due to my busy work schedule and obsession with fast foods, I regularly eat out in several of Kigali’s restaurants. My long term obsession of eating out has opened my eyes to the abnormally large number of Rwandan men who would rather eat out without the company of their wives.
It would be understandable if they have lunch in the restaurants but some go ahead and have supper and weekend meals in restaurants—if I may add in group-like-cliques. Honestly, which reason would make a married man have his dinner or Sunday lunch meal in the restaurant?
Well, there are quite a number of reasons but most of them revolve around their wives’ apparent ‘irresponsibility.’
Samuel, one bank teller who prefers partial anonymity, admits that he has failed to cope with his wife’s terrible cooking skills.
"My wife is a terrible cook. I can’t confront her and tell her to her face that she can’t cook because she would be offended. My only option is to eat out, then eat little of her bad food when I go back home so she doesn’t get angry,” Mukiza says.
He adds that his wife comes from a very rich family where cooking was done strictly by the maids so she can only cook simple things like chips, eggs and sausages.
Samuel says the problem starts with parents who don’t teach their children how to cook and think this should be done by only housemaids.
"Today more women cannot cook and that is why men like me, have to spend our lives depending on restaurant food or enduring our wives’ food,” he said.
He explains: "Through my experience, eating out alone as a married man is so uncomfortable because I keep thinking that my wife’s friends might drop by and see me and then report me or, some might think I am cheating on her—which I’m not.”
Johnson Muhayimpundu says that women hire housemaids to do the cooking yet most men would rather eat food prepared by their wives.
"Why wouldn’t I go for restaurant food if my wife brings in a house girl from the village who cooks more cooking oil than food?” Muhayimpundu rhetorically said.
However, the above could simply be excuses from greedy men, says 24-year-old Grace Isimbi of Kibagabaga.
After all, food is food, and more so, why not constantly surprise your wife by together exploring the various delicacies served at Kigali’s diverse restaurants? What happened to the sworn marriage vows, ‘For better or worse… ?’
"Men who always eat alone in restaurants are just greedy and have no justifiable excuse,” Isimbi says.
"It is a terrible habit for married men to always eat out alone in restaurants and go back home shamelessly. No matter the excuse—unless they suffer from ulcers—they should not do it,” she adds.
Even though some reasons may be genuine, a wife’s cooking skill can be improved with a little honesty and support from her husband. Who said men cannot cook; aren’t the best chefs in this world men?