Dear Aunt Silvia,

am a married man and a father of four children. I love my wife very much but the problem is that my wife has never initiated for sex for the last 13 years that we have been together.

I always seem to be the one initiating it. I need to know whether there is a problem with my wife or it is me who seems to be asking a lot from her.
Daniel

Dear Daniel,

After four children with your wife and 13 years of being together, this is the time that you think there is any problem at all with your wife? I want to doubt that very much for reasons that I will outline for you.

For one, most women especially the old fashioned ones never ask for sex no matter how much they may want it. These are women who were taught to never ask for sex nor discuss it, but give it to their husband whole heartedly-even though may do some things to suggest that they are in the mood, but will never ask for it directly.

Secondly, men need to understand that lovemaking to a woman is more emotional than physical. Sometimes men leave no room for women to feel the love, but some are left to feel like objects of sex.

Most men jump into their beds to expect the woman ready for him, but contrary to that-women need to be prepared for love making both physically and emotionally. Nowadays women too work to make ends meet, so when they come home they are equally tired, and hence they need to be prepared if there is any love making to take place, because we are not visual like men.

Another reason why most women don’t ask for sex is because their men ask almost every day so the request usually comes their way before they ask for it.  For a woman, lovemaking is not just another event. It’s a process.

It doesn’t start with a cold hand in the dark tapping its way to the garden of eve, nor does it entail being turned abruptly 360 degrees in the night and before you say anything, the brother is halfway done with the exercise.

Love making for a woman starts in the morning, from the way you comment on her dressing when she is going to work, and the assurance of your love she gets from you during the day.  

These little things go a long way to determine whether she will be ready later during the day or not.

Talk to your wife and tell her that next time you will appreciate if she will be the one to iniate it, then sit and wait for it.

Ends