…use silly excuses to borrow things from you.

 First of all let me announce clearly that I hate lending any of my stuff to strangers including you who is reading this. For that reason I hate those of you who say silly things like, "Ufite Tigo? Telefoni yangye yashizemo umuriro” (Do you have a Tigo phone, my battery is down).

 Hey, since when did you get the right to ask me such questions? And who tells you that I care whether your phone battery is down or not. Yes I have a Tigo phone, who doesn’t? But it is mine and not a public property. And besides it’s the Hater you are talking to, not the Red Cross. Next time remember to charge your phone before leaving your home.

…hang up the phone suddenly.

Once I retire from hating, instead of loving I may resort to teaching telephone etiquette. If this fails, then I may have to resort to engaging in disciplinary beatings of people who do not think it is necessary to say bye at the end of a telephone conversation.

I am tired of lousy fellows who silily switch off their phone without letting you know the conversation has ended. I am in no mood for surprises. And, please, don’t give me that nonsense of saving your airtime. If you are that broke then you have no business calling me in the first place.

Instead you can ask me to call you. But then I also hate beepers. So yeah, I really hate you in all forms and shapes.

…offer lousy and annoying services or products.

 I have so much beef with many of the banks in Rwanda. If you think I am not being fair, tell me how you can fail to hate a bank that asks you to apply for an ATM card and you have to wait for two months to get it.

Tell me how you cannot hate the people who run a bank whose ATM points never have money? The stupid machines will not hesitate to inform you to take your money yet they have offered you none. Now tell me why the managers of these banks should not be taken to a primary school to announce that they head lousy institutions? 

…assume you do not have airtime on your phone.

My dear readers, please, tell me this. Do I look like someone who never has airtime on the phone? Thank you for answering NO. Now tell me why I should not be allowed to slap these guys who sell airtime outside UTC and other points who simply look at you and start telling you to buy airtime. Who told you I even need it.

After all I am The Hater, my hobby is hating not calling. So I do not even need the airtime. In case I need it I will buy it. I do not need you to remind me. The only time you are free to approach me is when you are distributing free airtime.

…post rubbish on Facebook and ask you to do the same. I really thought I was done hating Facebook users. Now there is this new group without prior experience as far as thinking is concerned.

The ones who post something about God or their love for their mother and then ask you to repost it as your status update. Makes you wonder why NATO does not bomb such people to protect civilians like The Hater. A Facebook status update is supposed to be something that is on my mind. So who tells you that we are thinking of the same thing? Who pays you to even advertise this nonsense?

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293