Dear Aunt Silvia

I am a single lady with a boyfriend of ten years who lives abroad and I visit him twice a year. Recently on my second trip, I noticed that when we are together he either switches off his cell phone, or when someone calls he goes to answer the call far from me, so that I don’t eavesdrop on his conversations. Sometimes he tells the caller in a hurry that he is in a meeting and will return their calls afterwards. This trend with my man is disturbing me; I am a very worried woman. What should I do?
Penny

Dear Penny,

At your age you should be able to read the tale tell signs. The fact that your man is not able to answer even a single call in front of you means that he has so much to hide from you. Whether it is his business life or his personal life, something is wrong somewhere. You need to find out the soonest about what is going on, before you find yourself in the deepest end of the pool.

Usually when a person has nothing to hide, especially to their spouse or girlfriends they can comfortably discuss anything in their presence. But this man of yours is worrying me. I don’t know about his business deals. But one thing I know when it comes to a cheating spouse, they tend to never answer any calls in the presence of their spouses for fear of being found out about their innuendos with other women.

If you check the numbers saved on his phone book, you will find that most names have been saved in male names, and of course he knows which proxy name he has used for which woman. Sometimes some women decided to follow the movements of their spouses closely to confirm whether he is cheating or not. But also know that this can be a very tedious exercise for you, it might leave you more exhausted and hurt. You can only do so at your own peril.

If I was in your shoes, the first approach should be dialogue and ask him the questions that you need to ask him. You must seek honest answers from him, and all the while observe his body language-because this is the only thing that will tell you whether he is cheating or not. Once you have gotten all the answers, it will be up to you to make a decision on what is best for you. If you ask me – this man is cheating on you and does not deserve your love and time. Maybe it is time to cast your net on the seas again and see if you will catch one good fish for yourself.

Ends