Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a teenage girl in Secondary School.  Two years ago my mother was a secretary in a local NGO until an opportunity arose for her to go and work outside the country, because of her hard work. Everyone in my family was happy about it and dad gave her his full support. After working abroad for two years, she was again transferred back here on a promotion. Problems started in our family immediately mum settled in her new job.

We don’t know when she started being bossy and intimidating towards dad because he is a clerical officer. Thanks to mum we now to go private schools and are living a better life.

Even though we know which side our bread is buttered, we are not happy with our mum for mistreating our dad. What should we do as children to help our dad out of this misery? This is affecting us.
Lily

Dear Lily,

Children are susceptible to stressful situations at home when parents are having fights, and this can affect your lives. It is unfortunate how fast a human being forgets where they come from.

This is a trait which has been seen in many people who after making some money, forget the people around them like family members and friends. But then it is an extreme case when a spouse mistreats the other because of their good fortune, while it should be the other way round.

Your mother sounds like an excited teenager who has just hit a jackpot.

She should rewind her memory a little bit and make traces of her past up to where she is now. If it was not for your dad to give her his full support, she would not be where she is now, this you can remind her albeit kindly.

People forget that money comes and goes, cars come and go, titles and jobs come and go – but family and friends will always be there for you. 

The least one can do is to love and respect your family and friends despite their position in the society, for no one knows what tomorrow holds for us. For as long as the earth is still rotating, anything is possible.

You are big children, call both parties and talk to them-you have to develop feet made of steel because if you won’t, there is no way you are going to help your parents overcome their differences.

When trying to mediate, make them understand how this situation at home is affecting you. Sometimes such situations can affect your grades in school and any good parent would not want to hear that their problems are affecting their children to that extent.

Alternatively you can encourage them to go and see a counsellor, because as children you are still not in a position to fully understand the whole situation, and also it is not your business to understand that now –but to bring your parents together once again.

Talk with your siblings and make a date to sit with your parents for a way forward, you never know you might soften somebody’s heart when you share your inner feelings with them, and things turn out to be in your favour.

Ends