Relationships: Is your date into you?

It’s no secret that people spend a large portion of the time they spend with a date wondering, Does this person like me?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

It’s no secret that people spend a large portion of the time they spend with a date wondering, Does this person like me?

And while you would think the signs would be clear, all too often they’re not. But that’s not to say you need to be in the dark about your date’s true feelings.

It turns out there are many signals your date may send that give away what’s really going on. Here are some of those subtle signs that, at first glance, might seem like nothing…but could mean there’s a real connection and raging chemistry between you two.

Say my name

Maybe your date says your first and last name, like, "So, Sam Iragaba, you up for a another drink?” Or maybe your date says just your first name three times, like "Linda, Linda, Linda.”

Either way, it can be a sign that your date feels so much chemistry, he or she can’t help but connect with your closest possession: your name.

Squinting

It sounds odd but when one person fancies another, they’ll give them a sweet little squint, usually followed by a smile. What gives? It’s an unconscious bit of body language that shows the person is searching for more info about you.

"Squinting is typically a gesture of searching deeper into something or testing it,” says body language expert Patti Wood.

"The same way you’d squint at a diamond to see if it’s real, squinting shows you’re focusing harder to be sure it’s not just a mirage.” Your date must like you if they want to know that but more.

Probing questions

During dinner conversation, any polite date will ask you factual things about your family like, "So, do you have brothers and sisters?”

So it’s not necessarily a sign they feel chemistry with you. It is a sign of chemistry, however, if they delve deeper and ask more probing questions. As in, "So, how did you get interested in accounting anyway?”

And "Why did you decide to move all the way down south?” These challenging questions are a strong sign that the person you’re with is seriously interested in you and not just making polite chit-chat.

Wavering attention

Often thought to be the most obvious sign that the date is not going well, but rather than taking your date’s silence as a sign your date has lost interest, it could actually be the opposite. Your date may be feeling such a pull toward you that he or she is lost in thought about it.

"Sometimes, a person feels such a strong attraction that instead of nodding and following the conversation, he or she is just contemplating you,” says Wood.

So the next time your date seems to have missed the whole end of your story, don’t cast the person off too quickly.

"You’re…”

If your date says to you, "You’re great” or "You’re so funny” or "You’re so cool!” or "You’re something else…” then you’re very lucky!

Personalising your admiration or approval of a date means a lot; it’s a strong sign of attraction, while statements like, "That’s great” or "That’s funny” don’t mean as much.

Using the word you means that the person feels chemistry with you, versus just liking on your story-telling skills.

A token of the evening

If your date gives you something you can hold onto and look at later, chances are they’re feeling chemistry. An offering of something as small as a cinema ticket or a flower from the table could well have an underlying message. It seems your date wants you to have something to remember them by.

Ends