…laugh so hard and slap their neighbours.

There is enough research to prove that laughing is good for your health. What they do not say is that when done by some crazy fellow it could be dangerous too. I am talking about these crazy people who laugh so hard and end up slapping you in the process.

Dude, how am I supposed to laugh with you when I am in pain? Can’t you keep your hands to yourself as you laugh? I thought having to deal with the sight of all your teeth was enough. Now I also have to endure unwarranted slaps. Hell no!

…add you to Facebook groups without your consent.

One of these days I am going to request NATO to bomb some of my colleagues who enjoy suspending their thinking. Aren’t we all tired of being added to silly groups and having our email inboxes flooded with notifications for each post in a group that adds no value to your life. Where do you get the idea that I am interested in being in these lousy groups? It is even more annoying to find that people in these groups discuss nothing constructive.

At this rate I will be compelled to hunt down anyone who adds me to a stupid group. After all I am a busy man, I have people to hate!

…go around looting and burning shops aimlessly.

I cannot describe how much I hate the stupid British kids who went on a looting spree after pretending to be protesting. These little devils have no serious reason to protest, they were simply interested in looting phone shops and then setting them on fire. And where the hell were their parents the whole time?

How can a sensible parent allow his child to go out on the streets for a looting spree just like that? One of these days I am going to stop hating and I apply to join the UK police force. I need to beat the hell out of these spoilt brats.

…carry out their duties in a joking manner.

This is why I said above that that I intend to join the British police. Don’t you just hate the way these guys were handling the looting kids with kid gloves. How can a police force of a first world country fail to contain teenagers dressed in hooded shirts and looting electronic shops?

Why were they not arresting these small devils? Is it not annoying that a country that can send troops to Sierra Leone, Afghanistan and Iraq can fail to control errant kids on the streets! The parents of these kids and the police all did such a lousy job and ought to resign. Yes even the parents should resign!

…drive their cars inconsiderately on our dusty roads.

Ok I know I said I bought a car sometime back. Well, yeah, that was a lie. With the cost of fuel it is not easy to own a car these days even if you are Gadaffi’s friend.

So as I walk on some of the dirt roads in this country, I cannot keep myself from hating those of you who think that the rest of us who have no cars are useless. I am talking about the fools who drive on dirt roads as if they were participating in a rally. Your car is not a rally car neither is it an ambulance.

By dusting me as I walk along the road, you have no idea that you are spoiling my chances of looking neat in front of a potential future wife and I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t hate you. I hate you so much

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293