Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a young single man living abroad for the last two years in pursuit of further education. I left my girlfriend of five years behind because I was not in position to travel with her. It has been eight months now since I heard from her. Could this mean that she no longer loves me? I am sending emails and I am getting no responses. When I call she does not answer her phone, what should I do? I love her very much.

Peter

Dear Peter,

For a long distance relationship to be healthy and strong, you need to have constant communication with your partner. Communication helps to understand how the other person is doing and what they are going through. This also increases a sense of connectivity.

Now that you have realised your partner has changed, you need to talk to her and find out what might be happening — is it that there is someone else she is seeing? Is it that there are other things that are going through her life that might be hindering communication? That way you will be in a position to make a choice that is good for both of you.

A long distance relationship always requires more trust and communication as compared to a short distance relationship where you can see your partner now and then. This doesn’t work out when both elements are missing. Due to lack of constant contact with each other, it might be difficult to understand what your partner is going through. Thus, when there is a change in behaviour most of the time you will tend to think that she is having a relationship with someone else, which might not be the case.

Both of you are young and need to be close to each other for your relationship to flourish into something better, but then you should make her understand that your education will benefit both of you and therefore she needs to be patient until when you are through.

You should also know that not many people have the nerve to stand a long distance relationship; this might be the case with your girlfriend.

Maybe at the back of her mind she thinks that you are taking her for a ride, you therefore need to reassure her of
your undying love. You can do this by engaging her, once she has that engagement ring on her finger, then maybe she will live with the hope that one day you are going to make her your wife.

You must understand that unlike men, women can be very impatient in the matters of love, especially when it comes to waiting for too long.

She is probably looking around at her friends getting married and she is the only who has been waiting forever – these friends might also be the ones who are pressuring her into reacting so that she can get your immediate attention.

Take a bold step now before she slips through your fingers, believe you me nothing will stop a woman who wants to get married get her way- I am sure you don’t want to be an invited guest at her wedding, or do you? The ball is in your court play it the best way you know how.

Ends