After numerous ranting by men about how women have degraded themselves, not being like what our mothers are, being too spoilt and too emancipated, I decided that we as men should check ourselves and play our part. Let’s get our lazy bones up from couches and bars and talk to our young sisters and daughters. How many fathers know that their daughter has been heartbroken before? How many know when there daughter needs a shoulder to lean on? Some if not most of them think their daughters have never dated before. They only ask when she has finished University. Well, this is not the “type-writer”, it’s the “technology-era” meaning times have changed so should the brains too. Liberal is the conservatism.
After numerous ranting by men about how women have degraded themselves, not being like what our mothers are, being too spoilt and too emancipated, I decided that we as men should check ourselves and play our part.
Let’s get our lazy bones up from couches and bars and talk to our young sisters and daughters. How many fathers know that their daughter has been heartbroken before? How many know when there daughter needs a shoulder to lean on? Some if not most of them think their daughters have never dated before.
They only ask when she has finished University. Well, this is not the "type-writer”, it’s the "technology-era” meaning times have changed so should the brains too. Liberal is the conservatism.
So, am playing my part and I pray you also play yours. For quite a while I’ve wanted to write a letter to my cousin-sisters, my girl-friends and my sisters.
Time has passed, new ones have burst upon the world; others have matured into independent young women. Yet, the need is still here to give and to receive. Actually some of them are joining campus, others completing secondary, others starting day-care...etc
Anyway, I’m proud of each of you from my precocious, dramatic kindergartner and honour-student homecoming queen (Momo), to the brilliant banker (Sheila), the savvy ad executive(Hetta), the successful entrepreneur and business woman(Ruth), and the forward-thinking attorney (Susan). I love your spirit. There is just something about the ladies that I’ve met: They are strong (at least on the surface), and they often speak their mind before they know exactly what they want to say. I’m no saint, and I certainly don’t know everything. But I’ve seen, heard, and read a lot. I may not know their joy of love and happiness as well as the pangs of disappointment and heartbreak.
But today, I decide to step out of my comfort zone to do my part as a friend and brother who cares and is happy when you make it.
The first advice is be your own lady. I know there are scenarios where you are daddy’s girl and mama’s pain in the side but you must take responsibility for your actions and your life. You claim to be grown, so act that way. Make your own decisions; set your own goals. Don’t be overly influenced by peers or men.
Always choose who you relate with. Love is wonderful, but it can make you oh so foolish. Remember that love can make you do right or do wrong. Know beforehand who you are sleeping with. Yes, he is good-looking, but what’s going on in his handsome head? You have ambitions. Does he? You want to make a difference in the world.
Does he? If he’s a player now, he will be a player then. Contrary to what so many women think, you cannot change a man… only when he’s in diapers. However, you can take an imperfect man and help him to grow into the man of your dreams. Although don’t expect your man to be your father or be like your father. But a man with your dad’s best qualities (good provider, great parent, loving spouse, good role model) is a keeper.
Don’t wrap your happiness around a man. Create or find your own fulfilment.. Don’t wait for Mr. Right, because he’s never there, that’s why when the first one doesn’t add up, you break and cry but then let him catch you on the go. And don’t think you are less of a woman because you aren’t dating anyone right now.
Never let a man hit you. Or control you and make you lose sight of who you are and what your dreams are. Just sit with him and try to understand each other.
Travel, explore, experiment. Don’t be afraid to try the new and different (as long as it is healthy and wholesome). Find a passion, a hobby that relieves stress. Save for a nice vacation. Take cooking lessons. Challenge your intellect. Enjoy life.
Give back to the world. Tutor. Mentor. Donate. Volunteer. Reach back and help. (Somebody helped you, did she not?)
Keep track of your finances. Yes, I hate to balance my check book too, but it is a necessity. Manage your own money. Save and invest. Buy property. Never dish out money aimlessly but help where necessary.
Above all, find and nourish your spiritual centre. Whether you go to church or not, know that there is a higher being. Live right. Treat others as you want to be treated. Learn the power of prayer. So much to say, so little space. It’s time to go for my lecture. Tell your parents (and other loved ones) how much you love and appreciate them. It’s a gift that will keep on giving.