I recently received a letter from someone wanting to know if I am paid for writing this "rubbish”. Surely, what do you think?

How did you expect me to buy the computer I use, pay for the electricity it uses, subscribe to the internet company, feed my family, look after the "chain keeper”, take care of the offspring and of course buy my daily dose of "blood stream”? The list is endless…. 

Take it from me, nothing comes for nothing. If your uncle pays for your education, he will definitely expect of you so many returns there after. What do you expect?

This is the fifth year running that I have been writing this third rate column and I would like to thank all my readers, that is admirers (those who enjoy my tirades) and detractor (those who abhorrently feel I should get the sack), for sticking with me.

I suppose, I should be beginning my columns with an exemption clause, "Caveat Emptor” (as my learned friends have advised me to do), the views expressed in this column are neither those of The Sunday Times, nor those of its management or even myself for that matter.

Please, if I write an article that happens to tickle a bad past best forgotten, it is not that I am trying to step on your toes, do not take it upon your self to attack me; it is just that you are more fortunate than me because, my current woes are your past woes, full stop.

In the recent past, I received lots of email from many a reader who wanted to know how I get the lies I write. Such is nature of the letters I never sure what sex the writer is.

Talking about sex, that reminds of a lady who was looking for a job. At the interview she given a form to fill in (or it out?). 

She filled all the nitty-gritty until she came to a check box that read as "Sex”, she took in a deep breath eventually coming up with an answer, she filled "thrice a week”.

Oops, there I go again with the rubbish again…. 

Contact: Mfashumwana@fastmail.fm