Dear Aunt Silvia,
For a while I have been suspecting my husband is cheating behind my back and have finally confirmed it through text messages that I read from his phone.

One morning he left the house in a hurry after a text message came through his phone that he even forgot to carry his phone to work; by the time he realized he did not have his phone it was almost three hours later.

Even after he came back for it, he looked at me suspiciously asking if I tampered with his phone which I denied.

I found out that he is in a relationship with another woman; I am hurt I don’t know whether to walk away with my five children or swallow the bitter pill and stay in my marriage.
Consolata

Dear Consolata,
It is a bitter pill to swallow living every day knowing that your husband is cheating on you, but then you can also change this situation to the better.
 
Forget about the African bulls who are natural in inspecting all the skirt wearers who are willing to show what is underneath – these men there is little that one can do to change them, but sometime I ought to think that some men stray into extra relationships because there is something they are missing from home.

Have you analyzed your relationship with your husband of late? Are you in a comfortable and happy relationship?

Are the two of you still connected like you were before? These are questions that you need to ask yourself.

For some reason women tend to forget their husbands when they start having children, but more especially when the children are young and need all the attention they can get from their mothers.

This is the time that husband and wife drift apart. Unless one is very careful, the two of you can become total strangers in the end.

I don’t want you to jump into conclusions, maybe you can start by talking about it, and if you are not making a head way, seeing a marriage counsellor can help.

Invite your spouse to go with you so that the two of you can spill out about what is destroying your marriage and make some peace with each other.

As much as you have every right to know what is going on in your spouse’s secret life, you also need to know that despite our marital status, each one of us is entitled to their privacy.

I have known marriages that have been destroyed because of prying into a spouse’s phone. Try and bring down your level of curiosity, not all women who call your husband are his lovers- sometimes they are just friends or colleagues.

Sometimes what you don’t know will not hurt you. Forget about the calls and the text messages for a while and focus on your family and more importantly find ways of bringing back your man closer to you.

Ends