Back in the days when Jogos (cocks) used to act as alarm clocks and clay pots as refrigerators, I fell in love with the fairest lass my eyes had ever seen.

Having fostered some sizzling feelings for this particular dame for a long time, I decided to man-up and do something about it!

I poured my heart out through dozens of letters. Though it took several months to get feedback, I didn’t give up! When it finally came; I thought I’d die with bliss! The days that followed I was on cloud nine. But being she was from a strict Muslim family, she wasn’t allowed to date or have close association with anyone who doesn’t share her faith, so we became undercover lovers.

Like on many occasions, late one evening I went to check on her. Those days mobile phones were unheard of, so one would hang around the lass’s gate and wait to see if by any chance a house help would be sent to the shops. Then you would beg him to call her for you.

One fateful day, I ran out of luck! I hovered about, pacing to and fro for hours. Then the neighbours started eyeing me suspiciously, mistaking me for a thug on a mission. By the time I sniffed the air to know that I was about to be lynched, it was too late! People had congregated around me asking me the business I had in their area.

At first I dreaded telling them that I was waiting for my lass, but when they started getting unruly and threatening to set me ablaze, I blurted, "I am here to see Amina, Hajji’s daughter”.

"Liar, you are a thug! Where are your collaborators?” they demanded. Before I knew it, a small can of petrol was brought. An old man, probably a village chief, demanded I first verify if I was really Hajji’s in-law.

We stormed Hajji’s home; he came out with his family. On seeing me, my belle quivered thinking I was involved in an awful crime.

After updating Hajji on the purpose of our unwanted night visit, he asked the daughter if she knew me at all. With the vast angry mob’s eyes and ears focused on her, she failed to utter a single word!

"Don’t waste our time! Tell us, do you know this guy?” The mob leader roared! My heart was beating hard threatening to break the ribcage! She was my only saviour! My life depended on her! I silently started citing the Lord’s Prayer and then Hail Marys.

I knew she was in catch-22, if she said she knew me, her dad would use her to make a drum because her whole family will be subjected to ridicule! If she disowns me, God knew what my fate would be.

Here she wasn’t aware of the nature or magnitude of crime I had committed. She shyly looked down and shook denying any knowledge of yours truly! That was the sign they were waiting for! I was hauled like a notorious thug, "Burn him! Burn him!” The gang chorused.

"Not from my compound, take him away,” my father in-law-to-be growled. I was led out like a sheep to the slaughter house.

Before the match was struck, a gun shot punctuated by sirens of approaching police cars were heard. The mob was dispersed and in no minute I was rescued by the police.

I was thrown on a pick-up truck and we sped-off! From that spot to the police post was the sweetest car ride I’ve ever taken all my life! Today I have deep respect for Police officers. I was released that very night after my parents arrived.

Days later, I was told Amina’s big sister is the one who called the police. As for my sweet Amina, after realizing what she had done, decided to end her life! She locked herself in her room and swallowed a cocktail of tablets. She was saved by her big sister, the same lady who saved me.

She spent three weeks at the hospital! I visited her together with my parents. When Hajji who had already heard about my innocence saw us; he apologized profusely and asked me and my folks to pardon him and his daughter. This, I had already done.

When Amina fully recovered, her family organized a mega party and like you’ve already guessed, my parents and I were the chief guests. Though Hajji’s family didn’t declare it openly, we were given green lights to do our thing openly!

martin.bishop18@yahoo.com