Dear Aunt Silvia,
I am a young single mother of one. I have been in a relationship with a married man for over thirteen years. Recently the wife of this man died and he has proposed marriage to me. I went to visit him a few weeks ago and I could not help but look into his phone’s inbox.

I found very many disturbing messages from his girlfriends whom I counted to five. The man has already introduced me to his family, but I am afraid that I might get hurt considering the fact that he has up to five girlfriends.

Yet I do not want to let this chance of getting married pass me by. What do I do?

Angelique

Dear Angelique,
It is very hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

This means that your husband to be is used to having girlfriends outside marriage, because that is how the two of you met and have managed to be together for thirteen years.

Even though this man wants to make you his wife that does not guarantee you that he will not have another relationship outside marriage, something that you witnessed first hand yourself.

You see first of all, this is a man who after the death of his wife has experienced a lot of freedom, and that is why he has all these women at his disposal.

Second, if you are not living in the same country –it is very difficult more especially for a man not be involved with any other woman for obvious reasons.

In as much as he has these other women, it is only you whom he has chosen to marry, that should be a call for celebration, but also a short lived one. Because you will live in misery knowing that your man has another woman somewhere even though he will deny it and hide the truth from you.

You also know that you do not get into a marriage just because you want to walk down the aisle wearing a fairy tale gown?

This fairy tale part is just a one day occasion but your husband is a person you will live with for the rest of your life.

It is up to you to decide whether you are ready to swallow the bitter pill and live with your husband every day of your life knowing that there is another woman in his life.

If you can’t swallow the bitter pill, the earlier you terminate this relationship the better. This is one man you cannot guarantee to have your future secured with.

If he can be in multiple relationships with five women who knows whether he sleeps with them using protection or not? And most likely these women have other partners, who also have their wives.

You might be entangled in a dangerous sex web leading to a premature death if you do not think properly girl. Talk to him about your feelings and make a sound decision that you will not regret sooner or later. Otherwise don’t let the fairy tale gowns and big smiles on wedding pictures fool you.

Ends