…always ask obvious and silly questions.

Someone once said that there is nothing like a silly question but a silly person uttering nonsense. This is why I hate people who ask silly questions like those waiters who on seeing that you have finished eating, come and ask you if you are done with the plate?

What kind of question is that? Did you think I was going to eat the plate too? Who hires these people? Such people not only deserve pay cuts but should not be allowed to interact with intelligent clients like The Hater. These jokers can even make you feel hungry after you have just eaten.

…are still complaining about Rwandatel’s closure.

It is becoming very boring and annoying to hear idle people still talking about the fate of Rwandatel. Their mobile licence was cancelled and we have to move on. If you have not found an MTN or Tigo line then be quiet. The guys had debts and had failed to meet the licence obligations.

What did you expect? Their boss is busy fighting wars in Misurata and Ajdabiya and so he has no time for Rwandatel right now. Why are you complaining now yet you had enough time calling for just 3 francs. I know they used to tell us not to switch off (Ntukupe) but they were not talking to RURA which switched them off.

…think I do not have an MTN line.

I have always hated those guys who send us unsolicited text messages and so I was very vexed when MTN sent texts to my Rwandatel line telling me to bring it to their offices for a new MTN simcard with 500francs worth of airtime. MTN how could you do this to me after all the years we have been together?

Haven’t you been seeing my telephone number at the end of this article every Sunday? Now how do you expect me to have two MTN simcards? You had a 10 year monopoly and we all bought your simcards ages back.

And who told you that you can lure The Hater with a mere 500 francs. I need more than that if I am to call the people I hate. Next time try and raise your stake.    

…upload only glossy Photoshop pics on their Facebook profiles.

I understand that it’s a free world and we can do what we want. But then again, I am not happy with people who upload only glossy photos on Facebook. We all know you do not look like that so stop pretending.

With such photos it will always be a disappointment when we get to meet you physically.And in case I de-friend you after meeting you then do not blame me.

I cannot have a friend who only looks good on my computer screen. Be yourself for one. Why don’t you emulate me? On Facebook I remain The Hater and not a Photoshop version of myself.

…fail to do the right thing at the right time.

Without wasting anytime, I ask you all to stand up and join me in hating this guy called Laurent Gbagbo. On top of having such a tough name to write or pronounce, he went ahead and hid in a bunker claiming to be a president. The moment he was smoked out I knew he must have been a friend to Saddam on Facebook.

He lost an election and decided to rig the result! How foolish. He was dragged out of the bunker like a chicken thief. He not only has a baby face but also baby brains. Oh I hate this guy so much. 

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293