Dear Aunt Silvia,
I married a young, beautiful and very ambitious young woman. She is very loving, but has a hard time settling in as a married woman. Many a times, she leaves her office and heads straight to the bars to meet her single and equally successful friends.

My wife can’t cook, can’t wash or do any house chores. From the day I married I have been doing every house chore. Actually I don’t mind doing the chores, but the problem is that she does not even want to learn anything. What do I do to make her understand that it is different when one is married? I am tired of reminding her every night that I am at home waiting for her to come back.
Craig

Dear Craig,

It is sad what you are experiencing. But since you love her despite her shortcomings, you can still help her in that department just for as long as she develops interest. I don’t know about washing and cleaning, but you can enroll her for cookery lessons so that she learns how to do it.

Her habit of going out will be the most difficult trait to shed off, remember you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. she is used to her care free lifestyle of going where she wants at whatever time, without asking anyone for anything or permission, so I think she finds it hard to inform you of her whereabouts because that has been her way of living for a long time.

I think the best person to talk to her is her mother. She needs to be taught again what is expected of her as a wife and a future mother.

You cannot afford to have a wild wife, who anytime she needs a drink with her friends, goes without thinking twice about her family. This is a serious situation that needs to be tackled the soonest.

You also need to pay a visit to her friends, they need to know that their friend is now married and should not by any means entice her to their drinking spree as they used to do before.

At the end of the day she is your wife and it is your life, if you set the rules right, then I believe all will be well – though some of these things ought to have been discussed long before you entered into marriage.

It is never too late to discuss this issue with your wife, if she is not agreeing with you, and then seek help from her mother or a counsellor.

Ends