Some medieval priest gets his head chopped off because he stubbornly refused to heed the law of the land and decided to marry off some poor chaps and I am forced to become overly romantic! Shaaa! So what?

Let me tell you, it is all a swindle to make us buy flowers and other knick-knacks. Personally, the oldest bachelor south of the Sahara and north of the Limpopo River will not be fooled.

Why on this planet should I spend my hard earned cash because everyone else is doing so?

I think this so called ‘lovers’ day’ is chauvinist. It is we the guys, who have to buy the red roses, the boxes of chocolate and pay for the romantic candle-lit dinners. The ladies just have to look pretty.

I prefer Christmas; at least, everyone gets a present on this day, but Valentines Day? The ladies de-tooth us like a gang of zealous dentists. Poor men!

I am an African traditionalist; I believe things should have remained the way they used to (pre-white people). My grandparents; may God bless them, have been married for almost half a century and grandpa has never bought a single flower in his life. It does not mean he has never loved his wife …; he had better things to do.

This day makes some people very uncomfortable. I mean, what happens when the dreaded 14th February comes along? Should we jump off the bridge because we do not have a soul-mate to sing to that day?

I watched a friend of mine in Butare, who almost lost a plot because he did not have a date. This dude called all the ladies in his phonebook to no avail. He could hardly get one lady to become his ‘valentine,’ what a day! Hah! Hah! Hah!

Being the sadist that I am, I found all that extremely amusing. This is the Old Bachelor’s take on this entire situation. I can even say it in a word; ridiculous. Personally on that day I was chilling at the bachelor’s pad, sleeping.

When I woke up late in the evening I visited my date. Yes, despite my previous fury I had a date. She was tall, had curves to die for and was waiting for me at the bar. Her name? Mutzig!

Contact: madogz2002@yahoo.ca