I was recently watching TV, Al Jazeera to be precise, and as I followed the events in Libya, (yes, I always follow to know what will finally befall my comrade-in-hunting) a news feature particularly got my attention and had me glued to the screen.

It was about birds who have been forced to stay home alone in Benghazi as their hunters go to the war front in their quest to oust the one and only desert bird hunter alias King of Kings.

To keep themselves busy and to be relevant to the struggle, the birds have decided to stay in the kitchen all day preparing an assortment of dishes for their combatant brothers, uncles, fathers and hunters.
 
Well, not a bad way to keep oneself busy but I still strongly believe that a bird has to have a hunter by her side most of the time. I have decided to put all my faculties to work and put together a ‘peacekeeping’ force as a ‘contribution’ to the Libyan ‘liberation’ cause – in support of my comrade-in-hunting.

Mine will not be a conventional peacekeeping force where you will expect guns, armoured personnel cars, tanks and all – never. My mission will be strictly a peacekeeping force (Never mind that this will only involve one person) designed to protect the lonely birds who have been abandoned by their hunters who we see on TV all day shooting in the sky with the hope that they will be chanced to hit a war plane up there.

Once I arrive there, I will call for a meeting where all birds will gather and I will inform them that the world bird hunters’ association had been informed of their plight and had decided to send me to rescue them.

My action plan would be to organize the birds in midugudus to allow effective ‘peacekeeping’. Birds with permanent hunters (married, engaged) would be settled together separate from the not-engaged, single-and-searching type. This is what we call decentralization for effective hunting .

This would indeed make my ‘administration’ and ‘peacekeeping’ more efficient and ‘result oriented’.
Once settled in these midugudu, I would do proper ‘community’ policing by conducting day and night patrols through the midugudu, making sure that everyone is happy and safe.
 
As a contribution to the struggle – this time on the side of my comrade-in-hunting, I would discourage the birds from taking any food to the sky-shooters.

I know that this would be productive as much as it would be counterproductive but my action plan also includes an emergency exit plan.

My hope would be that if the birds stop sending food to the sky shooters they would die of hunger or commit suicide because of being jilted by their birds and I would end up establishing my own small Kingdom in Benghazi.

I am sure the King of Kings would not mind granting me this status after helping him end the insurgency and as long as I recognized him as the overall jogoo of Libya.
I have no problem with this.

But there is also a down side to this strategy. Faced with hunger and aerial bombs in the desert, the hunters would decide to abandon the war front and head home to face the birds, furious to know why they had stopped the food supplies.
 
If this would happen, by the time the King of Kings would send planes to bomb the hell out of the furious hunters, all that would be remaining of me would be pieces of flesh, after being worked on by sharp Arabic swords.
But I am always positive and that is why I am heading northwards anyway.

But before I go, I want to first send the King of Kings a cable notifying him of my plans. He needs to know that help is on the way so that he can keep up the resistance.

I have got to assure him that my plan will work because if his spirit weakens and he gives in like afande Mubarrak and Zein el Abedine, then I would miss the golden chance of setting up a bird farm in the desert and be known as the Abdu Mulasi of Benghazi.
We don’t want to miss the chance to bring in as many Ukranian nurses as we want. Gaddafi oye! Wish me luck.