…insist that they are showed love on Valentine’s Day.

I had not noticed that last week there was a day called Valentine’s. I am told it is for people to show love and they even dress up in black and red.

Where did all this madness come from? I thought we are supposed to love each other ‘pakalast.’ Even on wedding days people swear to love each other till death.

I have never heard anyone vowing to love on an ordinary February day that is not even in red on my calendar. I don’t want to hear of this again. People should love each other non-stop as I continue to hate every Sunday.

…waste our precious time by ignoring reality.

 I really never thought that I would be important enough to hate presidents. But today I am opening up and telling you all that I hate it when someone pretends that everything is ok when it is not. I am talking about that Arab Mzee who ruled Egypt for 30 years and when people said they wanted him out of office he kept talking about how he was not going to stand down.

What annoyed me most is that this very rich man who definitely must be having a huge TV set at his home was failing to see what the whole world was seeing on Al Jazeera. Thousands of his own people were in the streets waiting for him to apply for pension by resigning.  

…always check other people’s phones for photos and music.

It is getting clearer by the day that not all those who go to school get schooled. I now have the pleasure to hate those who only spent their school time growing physically and not mentally.

Don’t you just hate these idle jokers who always want to go through your phone looking for photos and music? Don’t they know that my phone is essentially a communication gadget?

There is enough music on radio and photos on Facebook as well as in my huge dusty photo albums at home. Now give my phone a break before the battery goes low and besides I am expecting a not so important call from Hosni Mubarak!

…carry umbrellas without considering other pedestrians.

The rains are quit heavy these days and some wise people move around with umbrellas. But please allow me to hate the short people who carry umbrellas and when they are passing close to us, they scratch us the taller ones with their cheap umbrellas. Yes I just realised I was tall when this short girl carrying an umbrella left me with bruises on my chest. Your efforts to keep the rain in check should not be an excuse for you to injure other people. Be mindful when you are walking or else I will donate hot slaps to someone tomorrow.

…do the opposite even what they are supposed to do is clear.

Allow me to end my hating spree with the customer care respondents of Rwandatel. After selecting the option for English and being promised to be connected to someone fluent at the Queen’s language, you are still greeted in Kinyarwanda.

Is this supposed to mean that English has just adopted some Kinyarwanda words and I am the last to know? I thought it was clear that my preferred option was English not a mixture of English and something else. Some one at Rwandatel should fix this otherwise someone will go to hell for deceiving clients that assistance in English is available yet it comes with a drop of some Kinyarwanda. 

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 788 545293

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