We have been enjoying the fruits of serious competition here in Rwanda. Take the example of the telephone companies!

They have been trying to out-compete each other in terms of offering the cheapest tariffs for calling friends, relatives and foes. Competition is very healthy, and that is why customer service has been elevated over the past few months.

Aggrey has been one of the beneficiaries of stiff competition. Yes; at his home, the security guards have tried to outcompete each other in terms of providing the most powerful salute whenever he arrives at home. The security guard, stamps his feet and the effects of that stamp can be correlated to a mini earthquake.

I witnessed this when I came over to visit Aggrey over the weekend. When we arrived, the 2 security men dashed over to open the car doors for us. I was feeling like a first class passenger aboard British Airways or Emirates.

Then as I stepped out of the car, the night watchman roared out a chain of praises and verbal artillery before finally stamping his feet followed by a powerful salute. I was left in a bewildered state. How could this happen to a mere small Diaspoman? Had it been a 15 years ago, things would have been very elephant for us.

Yes indeed, Aggrey and I would have walked into a den of lions 15 years ago. Those were the days when security was fragile as pockets of resistance had not yet been weeded out completely. Therefore, it was quite risky loitering aimlessly in suburbs where you were unknown.

That is why Aggrey and I decided to put a halt to our Cosmos drinking habits. We had developed this bad habit of trekking from Kiyovu to Nyamijos every night for the cold ones at Cosmos Bar. So, due to the threat of encountering thugs on our way back home, we decided to change strategy.

This strategy comprised of two things; discover the nearest bar to our modest home and secondly, hire a night watchman who would open the gates for us after midnight. The plan seemed to work out properly.

At least, that part of identifying the nearest pub. It took us a few minutes to discover a small joint near our house. The proprietress was commonly known as Béa. It was at this joint that we finally found solace and peace. No more Nyamijos. No more thugs.

But whenever you are implementing a plan, you should not always expect foolproof results. Whereas the first part of our strategy had been answered successfully by Béa, the second part was yet to be ticked off as a success.

This is because of the kind of person we had hired to be our gateman. As our gateman and night watchman, we had given him some stern instructions. He was not supposed to open the gate for anyone unless we were around. He was not also supposed to open for anyone after midnight whether we were around or not.

With such instructions, it would only be a matter of time before Aggrey and I got caught up in our own web. For the first week, our guard was up to scratch. He respected us so much that he always bent down whenever we appeared. Besides, we were the ones who were feeding him day and night.

However, one night Aggrey and I overstayed at Béa’s joint. It must have been 3am when we staggered towards our gate. The guard must have been half asleep when we arrived and attempted to climb over the fence. At this point, he sprang up to his solid feet and lashed us with his cane.

We screamed for help but to no avail. He chased us for another 100 meters, throwing stones and broken bottles at us. Thanks to Béa; her joint was still open and so we ended up swallowing a few more bottles for the "stones”.

Talk about customer service! This night watchman was the worst type and I hope he is still around to see for himself the revolution that has taken place – thanks to competition!
                                  
diaspoman@yahoo.com