Dear Aunt Silvia,
I am a married man and a father of eight children. My wife and I have six children together, while the other three children are triplets born when I was in college. After getting married I informed my wife immediately.

Even though she refused to accept them at the time, I kept quiet. After all these years of being together all my children are now grown ups-but recently when I brought up the subject, she told me that she will never accept my other three children.

I am getting old and I need to give each of my children, even the triplets, their rightful inheritance. What should I do?
Al.

Dear Al,
You started your marriage on a very wrong footing. Had you stood your ground then, your wife would have had no option but to accept your children from the word go.

But the fact that you gave her a lee way to trample over you even in issues as sensitive as this one, then it will be very difficult to bring her round to accepting your children now.

For me, as far as this issue is concerned, it should be discussed with the entire family from both sides.

You cannot let the feelings of your wife ruin your children’s identity. Children are identified by their parents, and if they cannot have a right over you because of your wife, then think of what kind of relationship they will have with their half brothers and sisters.

Your children from your current wife should also be informed about the existence of their half brothers, and if possible make a point of introducing them to each other.

You never know what will happen tomorrow. The world has become a global village-these children might meet in a very uncompromising manner, which will make you live your life in regret.

As for the inheritance, how your wife feels has got nothing to do with your decision making.

Whether she likes it or not, those three children have your blood running in their veins and they should not by any means be denied what is rightfully theirs.

Remember they were not asked to be born in those circumstances.

Your wife might not want your children in her house, but that should not stop you and your children from communicating with them.

You should do what any other loving father should to all his children despite the circumstances. Children are children; none is more equal than the other in the eyes of their parents.

Make a proper decision as a man now, sit back and wait whatever comes your way.

Ends