I am moving out of this flat. I think I have overstayed here, no wonder things are beginning to look strange to me.

There was a time when I was the king of the block, when I had about 5 different girls all warming up to me. But now, even getting a girl to have a sensible conversation with, is a struggle. 

The girls are all gone; the ones who stay are of a strange breed. Take for example this girl Dina. Her man is HIV positive, she is HIV negative. I’m thinking she shouldn’t even still be staying with him. But she sticks around, refuses to leave him. On top of that, the guy beats the hell out of her every few days. Really, where is the logic in that equation?

Then there is Jasmine, with her problems. I don’t know if in her youth, some boy played with her tiny heart and broke it permanently. She is incapable of feeling; she is one heartless daughter of Eve. She seems to have been sent as a punishment to men, who can’t control their desires for females, because once you see her, you want to have her.

And that’s the trick; she is unattainable. I now know of at least two guys who have committed suicide over her, at least six who have left their marriages for her, and still haven’t got her, and like eighty guys seriously pursuing after her. And none of those guys is going to get her.

When I saw her the first time, I was certain she would join my fairly long list of conquests, but I was lying to myself. She instead wrecked three of my relationships, and I now fear her worse than any other human being alive.

The other day, her cousin came to stay with her. Almost as beautiful as Jasmine, Daisy is a loner. She doesn’t like being with people. Jasmine set me up with her, for the sole reason that I wouldn’t even get close to seeing her!  But I have come to expect such things from Jasmine.

So, when I say I am seriously considering leaving, I have good reason. Perhaps where I go, there will be new people, a new start. I can’t go on living like this.

Of course it’s not only girl-issues that are making me want to leave this place. My car was stolen the other day. The thing was so old, I wondered if the guy who stole it was actually sane, and what on earth he was planning to use it for! For sure, he couldn’t sell it off; no one in his right mind would buy anything that old. But I miss it all the same.

Now I have to use taxis to move around, and that is hectic for me. I am not used to these hardships, no sir! I sometimes dodge going to work when I think about the hustle of using taxis.

Yeah, I am lazy, just like that girl Diane discovered. When I had just moved into my apartment, she was one of the first people I saw, and I didn’t waste any time in laying a line on her. We didn’t last long, just about two months.

And it wasn’t because we didn’t like each other; it was because she had to do most of my housework. She cleaned, cooked for me, and organized my place. One day, when I asked her to also wash my clothes, she refused. She said no, and I could tell she was serious. So, I got another girl to wash my clothes for me, and Diane didn’t like it. So she left me.

Now my place looks like a rubbish dump because no girl has been here for ages. Since Carole kicked me out, no one has tried to make my place look like a house for a sane human being. And I am too broke to hire someone to clean it for me.

So, you now understand why I need to move out of this place. In addition to the girls being weird, my car was stolen and my house is unhealthy to live in. And this unnatural attraction I have for Dina can only destroy me!

Ends