Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a 19 year old college going student. I live with my parents. For almost three years now my parents have been living in separate bedrooms and not as much as talk to each other. This situation really hurts my siblings and me since we love our parents equally.

When I ask my father about it, he tells me to go and ask my mother, and vice versa that means none of them is ready to divulge the root of the problem all they are saying is that they are seeking divorce. I am the first born and I would not like to see my younger siblings suffer because of the hatred between my parents and the subsequent divorce.

Yoda.

Dear Yoda,

For children, divorce can be stressful, sad, and confusing. At any age, children may feel uncertain about what life will be like, or angry at the prospect of Mom and Dad splitting up for good. Divorce isn’t easy, especially, since you are the eldest child you understand the most about what is going on between your parents.

Even at 19, you are still at a tender age of getting to really understand as to why two people who once loved each other, and have beautiful children together can come to hate each other to the extent of divorce and not caring about the future of their children any more, but just about their feelings. Unfortunately it is also very difficult for parents to pour their true feelings about each other to their children not just for fear of being seen as weak, but also because children are children, rarely do they understand adult problems which can end up confusing them (children) all the more.

My advice is that, since you are the eldest child- I would encourage you and your siblings to gather strength together and talk to your parents about your true inner feelings concerning the situation at home, believe you me, in case of a divorce you children are the ones to suffer the most.

It is time they put their feelings aside and take care of yours- remember that they are your parents and when you are talking to them do not forget that fact, do it with all the respect they deserve and make them understand – the outcome of the talk might even come as shock to you when they agree to make it up for the sake of all of you, I have known cases where children have brought together parents who were long separated. Good luck in your endeavours, but above all do not forget to pray- remember that God listens to the prayers of  children the most and he answers the best way He knows how.

Ends