As a ‘career eavesdropper’ Rwandans think if you do something so often, it becomes a profession, I can say our English has come of age. I often hear people say: Icyongereza cyaje mu bwato (English got here aboard a ship), a funny way to refer to the early explorers. However, I feel that our unique idioms should be entered into standard dictionaries.      

We have tried as much as possible to Rwandanise English such that foreigners need translations. A Rwandan will definitely understand when another says: "Greet your mother for me or I am going to eat Christmas at home." A Rwandan will also understand what it means to say: "You can’t me." 

The best place to experience Rwandan English is at public functions. If you are a keen listener, you will hear that people are still "borrowing permission" (seeking permission) to be out at events.    

Women are always "receiving" a whole range of baffling things including babies. Others order that their guests be, "increased tea and food" without batting an eyelid. 
You see, most Rwandans have no qualms about ‘mutilating’ Standard English. In one event, a sports buff recently reported to us that Rwanda was "presented very well in a recent international athletics meet". 

Taking our grins as approval of his observation, this chap went on, apparently oblivious of the grammatical error of ‘presented’ instead of saying represented. Putting blame for his local football team’s defeat on lack of sports shoes, he concluded: "You know these village boys play empty footed."       

Scores of MCs daily shout ungrammatical orders, reinforcing Rwandan English. Witness the following gems: Stand in lines (queue up), enter into house (get into the house) and you people are actually trying (I envy your track record at your work).

A lady of some worth once said that she had to, "catch my hair at the back (tie my hair in a pony tail with a rubber band)," for lack of a thorough hairdo.       

Other Daily blunders at functions are: speak with English or Kinyarwanda, "Close the water", and "Return the door" (turn off the tap, close the door) and "Days are really going", (meaning you were much younger the last time the person saw you).

And don’t we hear the customary call to applaud at functions Rwandan style as: "Clap him three times?"      
At a typical workplace brief, even bosses go the Rwandan English way and demand: "Can someone open us with a word of prayer?" And there "being no any other business" they often ask: "Can someone close us with a word of prayer".   

And have you heard some people introducing themselves? It is common to hear: "Hallos or good mornings, my names are…" At an event I attended, the host was suddenly called away. His bosom friend stood at the dais and snappily explained the sudden development. "I have taken over this home in the meantime."
     
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