Society Debate: Should ex lovers remain friends?

C’mon! Why not? I was just perusing through some date websites and landed on one that killed me with its crippled advice to bitter ex lovers. It read, “Are you looking for ways to handle an ex who hurt you? Don’t get mad, just get even!”

Friday, September 17, 2010

C’mon! Why not?

I was just perusing through some date websites and landed on one that killed me with its crippled advice to bitter ex lovers. It read, "Are you looking for ways to handle an ex who hurt you? Don’t get mad, just get even!”

It went on to boast its arrogance by claiming that thousands of people had used its advice to revenge on former lovers who had hurt them.

What the website does not mention is, whether those people’s lives got better after having their revenge, or whether they are now happier and without any kind of regret.

When dating someone, it’s selfish for one to assume that they will have all-or-nothing. It’s only human to always be on the good side, to want to stay friends, even after realizing that you can’t be lovers anymore.

There is nothing good that comes out of hatred, or keeping one’s distance. The world is round and even if you avoid your ex for a long time, soon you will meet again somewhere around the corner, God forbid you meet on a blind date.

Most importantly, being friends with an ex… or at least trying to create friendship, helps people who bitterly broke up to get over their pain faster than they rather would have.

This is because, by associating with him or her, or by having a cup of coffee together once in a while, it would ease the pain. It would also help one to understand that much more good can come out of a friendship which is not emotionally attached.

See, if two people finally realize that they are not compatible as lovers, they should also know that they can be compatible as team mates, or colleagues.

The moment you start to assume that someone is one hundred percent rotten simply because they played around with your feeble heart, then you know that you, rather than them, are actually the losers.

Also important, who doesn’t need blessings from an ex on their wedding day? Instead of standing at the pulpit, scared that someone you know might raise their hand to contest your wedding, it would be much better if you secured their friendship first.

On top of that, the world is full of people who badmouth others for no good reason whatsoever. In this category, we have those female friends of a girl you might have dated once.

When they see their friend crying from a broken heart, these girls will hate you and say bad things about you wherever they go. This might not serve as a good publicity stunt for you.

So, if you want to shut them up, the best way to do it is by befriending your ex girlfriend. She would help you by telling them that you’re a sweet and caring guy despite the breakup.

In conclusion, friendship doesn’t hurt, but inflated egos do.

mugishaivan@yahoo.com