The hidden side of domestic violence

We often hear about women who have become victims of emotional and physical domestic abuse, however today, some women are becoming perpetrators of domestic violence.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

We often hear about women who have become victims of emotional and physical domestic abuse, however today, some women are becoming perpetrators of domestic violence.

Women are usually generalised as being the ‘weaker’ gender that is more vulnerable and susceptible to harm, while men are seen to be more aggressive.

Perhaps this is why society almost expects that if there is going to be a case of domestic violence between spouses, the woman is sure to be the victim. When a lady reports such a case, she is sympathised and in some cases the man is persecuted.

The inability to control anger and rage is the very thing that prompts domestic violence whether it is the man doing the abusing or the woman.

Statistics show that men are sometimes the victims of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of their partners or spouses, the abuse includes injuries and emotional abuse such as battering, verbal abuse, denial of conjugal rights and being forced to do house chores.

So if men are also victims of domestic violence, why is it that we don’t often hear about it?

According to Patrick Hakizimana, a designer living in Kacyiru, a man will rarely report a case of domestic abuse out of the fear of being labeled weak.

"What man would want to openly confess that his wife beats him at home? Understandably, it’s not something any man would broadcast because he will be called weak and laughed at by his friends and everybody else,” he said. 

The fact that it may happen on a considerably lower scale may be a contributing factor. In addition to this, women are more likely to share with their family, friends or even the authorities if they are battered by their husbands but men in most occasions opt to keep quiet hence leaving the abuse by women against men in the dark.

For this reason very little is known about the actual number of men who are in a domestic relationship in where they are abused or treated violently by women.

Men are also victims of domestic violence however the sad part of it all is that if they attempt to report the situation, they suffer the risk of being stigmatised by society for being susceptible to abuse from their wives and not being manly enough.

Ms.efuahagan@gmail.com