The Hater

I hate people who… …drive while staring at pedestrians. First of all I have to point out that I am not just talking about the guy who occasionally looks at the pretty girl walking close by.

Saturday, August 07, 2010

I hate people who…

…drive while staring at pedestrians. First of all I have to point out that I am not just talking about the guy who occasionally looks at the pretty girl walking close by.

I am just tired of people who cannot concentrate and look ahead while driving but instead spend a lot of time staring at people walking on the streets.

Why don’t you just stop your car, step out and stare all you want? What is wrong with walking? Do you think you are the first person to buy a third-hand Japanese reconditioned piece of junk you call a car? The police should start arresting drivers who just can’t keep their eyes on the road.    

…hold long phone conversations in the taxi. When you leave work and board a taxi back home, all you need is a calm quick ride back home. However some dumb people, who are extremely hated by me, just cannot let us travel peacefully.

There was this lousy fellow who just kept talking and talking and by the time the taxi stopped we all knew how much money he owed his neighbours and even the problems he was having with his wife.

I only wish he knew that no one was really that interested in any of his problems. By keeping quiet and letting us go home peacefully he would have survived my wrath. That was not the right place to pour out your lamentations especially with The Hater seated close by.

…dress without considering the weather. The dry season makes me hate so many things that I have even been asking my editor to create more space for my column in the newspaper.

Before he can give in to my demands, I want you all to know that I hate people who wear sandals yet they know they have to walk on dusty roads. The other day I saw a lady whose legs were so dusty.

Actually at first I just thought she had decided to wear brown stockings. After a closer look I realised that her legs were covered with dust. Such non-thinkers should not be allowed to come to town.

If you stay in dusty areas then you should think seriously about what you wear or what The Hater will say about you.

…do not think about others when driving. I do not know why some people stop thinking the moment they sit in their cars. I am talking about these stupid drivers who just drive fast on dusty roads.

Please, it is already hard enough for some people to move because they cannot afford to buy cars. But to go ahead and make their lives harder by leaving them covered in dust just because you picked up a bank loan and bought a cheap car means that The Hater cannot be happy.

I wish villages could mobilise and confiscate cars driven by such lumpens. Sitting in a car does not mean that you should not think about other road users.
 
…never vote but keep complaining about politics. Tomorrow is Election Day and although it will be a public holiday, The Hater never goes on holiday when there are people to hate.

A Rwandan citizen of voting age who chooses not to vote but goes to make noise about the outcome of the process is the kind of person I wish to visit in his nightmares.

If you cannot exercise your right to choose a leader then I suggest you exercise your inalienable right to keep your mouth shut and the right to be hated.

Let me help you hate by sending your suggestions to thehater2009@gmail.com or a text message to +250 758 545293.