Dear Aunt Silvia,
My elder sister has refused to get married even though she has been engaged for over seven years. Her fiancé wants them to get married and settle down like their friends, but she has refused.

Recently I called her and we had a sister talk and asked her why she thought she isn’t ready to settle down yet she is getting older. She told me that her friends who are already married tell her that married life is frustrating, so she sees no need of getting married after all.

My entire family has tried talking to her in vain. What do we do to make her see that her fiancé is now tired and is almost leaving her to look for someone else?
Belinda.

Dear Belinda,
Your sister is one person who has feet made of clay and cannot make her own decisions that is why she lets her friends make decisions for her.

This is characteristically of a woman with low self esteem, she goes by what her friends decide for her – not realising that these so called friends are out to ruin her life.

How can she listen to her friends who are lying to her not to get married, yet they are still married themselves? It is unfortunate that she cannot open her eyes to see that her friends are misleading her into not making proper decisions concerning her life.

Many women have the tendency to mislead other women into not getting into marriage institutions yet they are happily married themselves.

Sometimes our very own friends are not happy for us, they give us all sorts of wrong advice, just so that nobody outshines them in anything.

Very few of us can tell between a friend and a foe, your sister therefore has enemies as her friends. If they love her as she claims, and have her interests at heart, then they should have advised her accordingly.

What your sister is not aware of is that, no man can wait for ever. Unfortunately nature is not very kind on women, we tend to age faster-the young man is always meeting young and even more beautiful women than your sister who will take him in immediately when he proposes, yet he made his mind to wait for her all this time, only for her to disappoint him time and again.

Your entire family and may be that of your in-laws should get together and ask her what is the reason behind her not wanting to settle down- if she has reasons let her outline them to you, sometimes you never know what goes between two people.

Weigh them and see if they hold any water, if they don’t then it is time she is reminded of her age in capital letters. If your sister is not listening to anyone in your family for mature advice, then I suggest you pay each of her friends a visit and give them a piece of your mind without mincing your words.

If your sister still will not heed your word after exploring all avenues of dialogue, then I suggest you kindly tell her to release the poor man from the misery of waiting for her forever so that his life can move on- am sure the man at this time is still with your sister out of the respect he has for your family- then let her lead the life of misery that her friends and herself want for her.

Ends