Dear Aunt Silvia,
My daughter is 21 years old and has been declared an alcoholic by my family doctor. She completed secondary school almost three years ago and has refused to go to college.

Her age-mates are almost graduating while she is wasting herself with alcohol, which to my shock I came to learn that she has been drinking from the time she joined secondary school. That means she has been addicted to alcohol for almost eight years now.

She doesn’t want to quit drinking, although sometimes she says she does. What can I do to help her? As a mother I can’t just watch anymore. I have been in denial myself because I can’t bear the pain of admitting to myself what my daughter has become even when I can afford to give her the best of what life can offer.
Mama B.

Dear Mama B,

Having a child who is alcoholic is traumatising let alone a daughter for that matter. You see most parents who find themselves in this predicament tend to blame themselves for what they should have or not have done, but then I always say that that is water under the bridge no one can reverse the arm of time, the only way out is to find a solution.

It is also very courageous of you to come out and admit about your daughter’s addiction at the same time look for help.

Some parents don’t seek help for fear of being rejected and shunned by society, but then fear has never helped anyone and they end up destroying the children even further.

Sometimes we parents drive our children to these kinds of addictions by supplying our children with all types of alcohol we have at home without as much as controlling how they are being consumed.

It is common knowledge that no child under age will be sold to alcohol in public stores and bars, but while rules and regulations are in every store and bar- we at home leave all the cabinets with alcohol accessible to our children without even warning them the dangers of one too many, and that is where tasting alcohol in hiding begins and eventually one becomes an alcoholic.

Of course not all homes can afford to stock alcohol in their homes, but what is worse out there is the peer pressure. Peer pressure destroys children so fast because they are under pressure to convince or make an impression on their fellows that they too have grown or are in the so called " elite clique”, thereby making a child sink into any sort of addiction very fast.

Sometimes we parents are too busy to take notice of what is happening in our children’s lives because we are busy looking for money- as we watch our children destroy their lives. So much is happening right now, parents need to take charge once more of their children’s day to day activities.

If a child has been known to be active and then all of a sudden the child starts withdrawing, then know it is not part of growing but could be an underlying problem.

Girls are delicate creatures to be watched under microscope. Mostly girls fall under the wrong hands of some boy or man by means of small gifts, and then in return she is slowly recruited into the system of addiction without her really knowing what is going on.

Therefore, parents to girls have to be extra careful. Your daughter is still very young and at the ripe of her age. Please continue with what you have started, at the same time she needs support not just from you but the entire family.

In the meantime she needs to see a professional counsellor to slowly help her overcome her addiction, as you look around for a rehabilitation centre where she can be for sometime so that she can overcome her addiction with the help of former addicts and professionals too under strictness.

Take heart and do what you have to do as a parent- and leave the rest to God, we are with you all the way in our prayers.

Ends