I always wonder what to look for in a partner, our culture dictates the norms and standards. She has to be pretty, quite often to a very limited perspective, from a good family, educated, and kind. That is quite often impossible to find in a person.

I have two mothers both awaiting my wedding day, their standards have been getting steadily lower the older I get. The list of criteria gets shorter and shorter, now it’s just "get on with it.” I sat down with my mum and told her of the impossibility of my task.

How nobody is perfect, especially I, how many girls calling them self born-again Christians are really the worst culprits.

Quite often they are shouting the loudest in church, and repenting for last nights sins. It made me realize that being born-again doesn’t make you any better of a person. Every person born-again or not is still prone to temptation, carnal instincts, selfishness and no bible scripture can ever change that. Maybe it can help you justify your sins.

I laughed at a story a friend told me about a lady he met on a plane she claimed to be born-again but said "God doesn’t like prostitution but he understands, like one time I was stuck in Dubai and starving but luckily God sent me a customer to save the day.”

So the human mind can justify anything, the worst betrayals have been done to me by people calling themselves "Balokole” but the Bible says "Beware of wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

So I now understand why many people call themSselves saved, it is a short-hand way of saying you are trustworthy, honest, dedicated and generally a good person.

That is why people view them with suspicion, pastors are arrested everyday for crimes but that shouldn’t tarnish all of them with the same brush. I have decided that being a Mulokole doesn’t mean anything today, it is mostly a sham based on appearances like not drinking, not smoking, not openly having sex but it must be more.

I have decided that most important thing is decency because that is something you are born and raised with. There is no bible class that can teach you that, it is something innate within you.

That is why Christianity first struck a chord with Rwandans, it was basic decency. The 10 commandments are no good to you if you don’t have decency, you will merely be like a lawyer justifying your actions.

That is something I have learnt recently with some very trying times in which I have seen the true decency in so many people, people who I never expected. There used to be something called Kinyabufura and Inyangamugayo; these translate as decency and avoiding disrepute.

We need that today, because they have been replaced by money and wealth. We cannot have superficial decency it has to go deep into who you are.

Ends