Caught in a bro’s wicked joke

Someone is here to see you boss, the receptionist informed me though I didn’t have any program with anyone that day. I nevertheless slopped down the stairs to the reception, looked around for a familiar face but didn’t see any. I asked her who wanted to see me.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Someone is here to see you boss, the receptionist informed me though I didn’t have any program with anyone that day.

I nevertheless slopped down the stairs to the reception, looked around for a familiar face but didn’t see any. I asked her who wanted to see me. "Your girlfriend seated over there,” she pointed.

Turning, I faced a woman in her late twenties, an over-weight, shabby, dirty villager , with an overly stuffed sisal-bag, donning ‘boda-boda’ sandals with a matching  tired lime-green  t-shirt. Seeing the receptionist pointing in her direction, she stood up, came to me and before I knew it was enclosed in a giant-sweaty-bear-hug,

I tried to set myself free in vain; she showered me with smacks and pats on my back. I heard giggles, all eyes were on us. After what seemed like forever, she finally let go of me.

"I missed you cherie,” she happily cried.
At first, I thought I was dreaming. After catching my breath I asked her where she knew me.

"Eh! You don’t remember?” she loudly exclaimed!
Guys were streaming from every office coming to see my ‘girlfriend’. I wanted the floor to swallow me. "We met in Gisenyi and you told me you love and that you want to marry me!”

"Gisenyi!! Me?”

"Dude I like your taste in dames,” a colleague teased.
The first thing that came to my mind is that she was insane.

"How did she get here?” I asked the receptionist.
"She’s got a piece of paper with the address, your names and phone number,” she replied.

I composed myself and decided to handle the situation with a sense of humour.

"Cherie, come with me,” I held her hand and took her to the cafeteria. "Please, remind me where and when we first met,” I cajoled her.

"We met in Gisenyi on your way from Goma. We spent the night together. In the morning you left me with a 5k note, your phone number, names and the address of your place of work,” she shyly divulged.

"Why didn’t you call me first?” I demanded.
"Cherie, don’t you remember you asked me not to call but surprise you?”

When I saw the paper where ‘I wrote my names and address’, I cracked and laughed out loud, the picture was becoming clearer.

Isaac! I almost shouted, a ‘wicked friend’ of mine! I couldn’t believe he took his jokes this far.   I calmly asked her to listen attentively. "The guy you slept with is my brother,” I explained.

I described him for her and she confirmed he’s the one.
"I’m sorry, you see, it was at night when we met and he left very early in the morning. I didn’t see him properly. Where is he now?” she asked.

Why don’t I pay this coward in the same currency? I asked my self. I called Emma, Isaac’s colleague asking if he’s at the office. "He just left for lunch,” came the reply.
 I asked for and confirmed the posh restaurant he had headed to.

I briefed ‘our’ visitor. "I’m going to take you to him but I want you to promise me you’re going to give him a ‘Pregnant- Goliath hug’! I want you to kiss him for five minutes.”

I convinced her how my brother loves hugs.
She was so excited, couldn’t wait to see the love of her life. We took off immediately and arrived when the waiters had just taken their order, there he was, with all his colleagues and buddies, it was a perfect timing!

I didn’t even point a finger; she recognized him at once and lunged at him full throttle. I didn’t wait to see the rest of the drama; I left with a contented smile.

martin.bishop18@yahoo.com