When I was in Mbarara town harassing booze a few days ago, I noticed how people in this town do cherish empty bottles. Yes; you heard me right!

Not only do they love bottles filled up to the brim with frothy liquids but they also do preserve empty and used up bottles. I got quite inquisitive about this and so I had to ask some questions.

Why did they cherish empty bottles? Answer? It’s because the empty bottles are sold to traders who in turn use them for storage purposes. I was told that these empty bottles find themselves in nearby slums where they are filled with local brew. The local brew is quite potent but so affordable indeed!  

When I was told about this story, my mind quickly raced back to the mid 90s. Those were the times when Aggrey and I were small town lads trying to make ends meet here in Kigali. And that is when we first discovered the power of both full and empty bottles!

Anyways, those were the days when we worked for a certain expatriate boss who was a headmaster of a certain NGO. It was on the 25th day that our expatriate boss would usually emerge from his exclusive tent to announce that our salaries were ready.

This was a very special moment for us. Payday meant that our hands would once again touch those greenish crispy clean dollars. As we prepared to take our dollars to BCR, we would suddenly notice a queue of gold-diggers waiting outside. They came in to partake of our remuneration.

As months passed by, we realized that this would not be tolerated any further. So we started dodging these chicks by fleeing via the backdoor. 

But once a gold-digger always a gold-digger! They also devised other methods of tracking us. So as usual, the chicks looked at their calendars to check whether the date was indeed the 25th day. Instead of forming the usual queue at our Gikondo offices, these ladies headed for the BCR main entrance.

Meanwhile, Aggrey and I boarded one of the several jeeps available at the compound. We sped on towards BCR to bank our dollars. As we entered the bank, familiar voices hit our ear drums. "Oh? As you have been lost? Why not join us for a drink please?”  

What a trap! Aggrey and I had little choice but to follow these gold-diggers across the street. It was at the famous Caimen joint that we started off crushing dollar after dollar. In the ladies’ vocabulary, the word "mercy” never existed.

That is to say that they mercilessly crushed dollar after dollar until our whole salaries were wiped out in a flash. They did this by drinking the most expensive rums, whiskeys and wines that you can think about. They then proceeded to order for expensive pizzas and other delicacies.  

Once we got back to our house at midnight, we found an ultimatum from our houseboy. His stores have been empty for the last 2 months. He is on the verge of starvation. We had to either pay him or face the courts of law.

But our pockets were in a weeping state. We promised him a heavy bonus if he could tolerate us for just one more month. In the meantime, Aggrey and I vowed to exert our revenge on the chicks. That is why we resorted to some wicked trickery.

In order to implement our plans, we invited the ladies for a nice evening at our modest home. They promptly agreed because we promised them several litres of Amarula and wines.

And this is when empty bottles (or amavide) came in handy! We went on a mission to search for the empty bottles from the backyards of restaurants, bars and supermarkets. These empty bottles still had their brands intact; Black label, J&B, Grants, Baileys, Amarula and many others.

After washing all the bottles clean, we rushed to Nyamijos where we succeeded in negotiating and paying for 40 litres of very cheap local brew commonly referred to as Urgwagwa.  

Back home, we offloaded the two jerry cans of the local brew and proceeded to fill all the empty bottles. Now we were really in a mood for the mother of all parties…

  diaspoman@yahoo.com