…still use ordinary paper as toilet paper.

Today I have had to kick off on a rather nasty note! My assumption is that anyone reading this can afford to buy a roll of real toilet paper for purposes of hygiene. I also believe you appreciate the superiority of toilet paper as compared to any other alternatives.

It is a sign of extreme backwardness if after reading this newspaper you will transform it into a toilet accessory! It’s unacceptable and if you intend to do so I pray that you suffer from severe diarrhoea that is only interrupted by acute constipation.

Yes you need to style up it’s June 2010 not 1900.  

…dress annoyingly when going to the bank.

I know there is no particular agreed dress code for people going to the bank especially when they are not members of staff. But this is not reason enough for an adult to show up in the banking hall wearing gumboots!

The other day I saw a guy wearing gumboots in the bank and I felt sorry for his wife and children. He is a total fashion disgrace to his family. Mr. Farmer or whatever your job is, this is a bank not a factory or garden.

Maybe you thought you had come to ‘harvest’ money and saw it wise to dress like that. I wish the bank can design ATM machines that refuse to work if the customer is poorly dressed.    

…annoyingly confuse passengers.

I have said it before that I hate people who pretend to be calling passengers to taxis as if the passengers didn’t know why they left home in the first place.

Some of these drugged and idle fellows end up just confusing passengers instead of helping them.

The other day a lady moving with a child was annoyed when one fellow grabbed her child and put him in one taxi while another fought for her bag only to take it to another taxi! If this is really the job of taxi touts then I think they need a ticket to Iwawa. They need some skills and of course some discipline.  

…have not planned for the 2010 World Cup.

It is really hard for me to understand and therefore not hate a person who by now still has no concrete plans for watching the first World Cup on African soil.

It was declared more than four years ago that Africa would be hosting the tournament so do not pretend that you have just known. You have had way too much time to either save for a trip to South Africa or invest in a good television set.

If you have not undertaken any of the above steps then you deserve my utmost condemnation. Those who intend to disturb their neighbours just to watch football are just not serious. How can you spend four years just planning to be my visitor! 
 
…fail to act their age and try to ruin our World Cup.

This is aimed at Mzee wa Kazi Roger Milla who helped Cameroon to reach the quarter finals of the World Cup in 1990. The old fellow recently chose to attack our star Samuel Eto’o (Mtoto wa Afrika) claiming that the young man has done nothing for Cameroon as compared to the clubs he plays for. Mzee Milla you really need to shut up.

Does he think that the Cameroon team has players of the same quality as Real Madrid, Barcelona or Inter Milan? Eto’o is the most talented player on the continent and he has achieved a lot in football. He needs support not baseless condemnation by a pensioner like Roger Miller.

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