Dear Aunt Silvia,

I am a second year college male student in a local private university. For close to a year now I have been secretly admiring one of my lecturers and I think she also knows that I have a crush on her. I have been wanting to tell her what I feel about her but afraid to do so because I fear the repercussions. She is a mature lady married with children and very kind.

Sometimes I am tempted to tell her what is going on but fear that my studies might be cut short and my future goes with the wind. What do I do? Should I just throw caution out and declare my love for her and risk my education or keep quiet?

Bonny

Dear Bonny,

First things first; keeping quiet in capital letters is the word for me. Why do you want to gamble with your life because of what you call love? Nothing comes close to your life my friend, even that thing you call love. If you become a nothing, believe you me you will not enjoy life.

Let me put some brain in your young mind; what you are going through right now is infatuation and not love. The difference between love and infatuation is that when you are in love, you start thinking of wanting to spend the rest of your life with this other person, but infatuation is that strong feeling at that moment when you see that person whom you think you are in love with, but when you go and think of the same person in terms of long term relationship, you find yourself blank, and am sure it is exactly what you are feeling. My guess is that she treats you kindly and warmly as a mother to a son or student. But you end up interpreting differently!

I also don’t think that your lecturer has any clue about your crush on her, if she had- she would have advised you otherwise. She sounds like a mature woman who would not want to get involved with her student in a relationship that could taint her good name and also put her job on the line.

My dear boy, my advice to you is to get over with this baby love that you are now feeling, get on with your studies, and work hard for your better future.

Love at your age is a bit complicated, if you start falling in love with any woman who shows you sympathy, then you are in for disappointments. Hold on to your trousers. You are still young, love will come your way and it will feel even better than now.

Ends