Why do innocent people get betrayed in relationships?

He has got it all—a brawny body, obvious dimples, and an attractive-genuine smile. His eyes sparkle with glee whenever he is cracking a joke that makes you want to glue your eyes to his face. He has a strong sense of humour, and makes everyone around him cackle out their lungs when he pulls out his jokes. As they surround John [not real name], people keep complimenting to his admirable character. 

Friday, November 20, 2009

He has got it all—a brawny body, obvious dimples, and an attractive-genuine smile. His eyes sparkle with glee whenever he is cracking a joke that makes you want to glue your eyes to his face.

He has a strong sense of humour, and makes everyone around him cackle out their lungs when he pulls out his jokes. As they surround John [not real name], people keep complimenting to his admirable character. 

"He is handsome and fun, I wish he was my boyfriend,” says one girl seated next to John. Why not, after all he meets all the criteria any girl would want from a guy.

He is cute, friendly, loving, financially stable, respectful and fun to be around. One would be misguided that John is in a stable and fulfilling relationship.

However, when he talks about his lucky life, it’s apparent that though he has got it all, he misses love. John has been in more than six relationships which have always failed. On the contrary, his player- friends have stable relationships.

"I think girls love womanizers,” John says disappointedly. He believes that all girls desperately long for ‘the bad guys’ talk of drug addicts, cheats, crooks, any woman will get interested.

On the other hand, good girls believe they have less chance to getting stable boyfriends because guys are interested in ‘bad girls’

It’s unfair; though it remains a reality that innocent people are always betrayed when it comes to relationships.

Why is it that when the innocent carry their virtue and genuine character to a relationship, all they earn is manipulation and disappointment? Should people change for the worst in pursuit of steady love?

A close friend usually says ‘tears are meant for the good and the patient’. And depending on the look of things, her statement is right.

The sarcastic part of it is the fact that the genuine never date equally good people. It’s like the dating formula is ‘best people with worst ones’.

Well there are many reasons why good-hearted people end up hurt by lovers. And if you find yourself in constant relationships where you are being lied to and manipulated, then question the decisions you make other than the person you are.

"Good people often make bad choices,” says Adrian Mitali, a married man.

It’s important to be more discerning. Look at the kind of people you’ve been attracted to in the past and the qualities they possess, avoid going for the same personality types.

Givers attract takers. It’s just a fact of life that not everyone in the world is perfect, and the bad ones are always on the lookout for an innocent person to use.

Meanwhile, before sulking about betrayal, check if you are not repeating something from the past. If you come from a dysfunctional family, you might unconsciously be repeating the same problems you experienced while growing up.

For instance, children of alcoholics often marry alcoholics and abused children marry abusers. It takes a strong person to break out of such a circle.

You might as well be the denominator of the betrayal you face all the time. Do you follow him/her around like a little puppy and tell them how beautiful they are? She/he might misguide your good endeavors for insecurity.

Before you give up on love, just keep cautious with your head high, you will definitely meet someone who will love you for real.

Ends