Many of my friends, some in marriage and others in long term relationships, have something in common; they are all decent guys who love their women and would do anything for them.

However, God knows that there are times when they just want to make those women beg for mercy from the stick. They always share these deep, dark thoughts with me, forcing me to research into why we men want to beat our women. Now, in my learned opinion, it’s you women’s own fault!

Before I go any further, in the Qur’an, a woman who disobeys her husband is breaking Allah’s supreme law and is entitled to admonishment first and physical punishment as a last resort until she returns to obedience.

Secondly, many women in relationships are much younger than their men, so beating the wife is seen as a punishment to a child. And again, there is nothing we can do about that.

Every time your man beats you up, it is your fault because you could have easily avoided the battering! We men believe that the best defence is a strong offence.
If I come home late and you angrily ask me whether I know the time, you will be challenging my intelligence.

Of course I know the time, and if you keep this hogwash up, I’m going to sleep without speaking to you or beat and intimidate you into loving me. If you still do not understand this, let me explain another scenario.

If you find me in my broke state and then tell me that there is no food in the house, that the children are sick, you may not realize this but you are making me feel that way.

Yes, I may have spent our precious money on other women and alcohol, but the way you remind me of my inadequacy is what is going to determine whether you are beaten up or not.

Now, you may be thinking that a man who is not being responsible deserves to be told off. And I will tell you this. If you are not your man’s mother, telling him off will only bring you problems.

The rationale is the more intimate we are with someone; the more difficult it is to be objective. Instead of hearing your point of view, we shall react to your negative feelings, like if I’m broke, I will feel like you think that I am useless and not good enough for you.

This kind of thinking is prone to reward with a few slaps and kicks-all in the name of love but especially a need to be accepted and loved regardless of the mistakes, the inadequacies and broken promises.

Ultimately, we men are really good people at heart. And looking at other women does not mean that we are bad. We are just appreciating nature.

The point here is that, if you women want to avoid being beaten up, you will have to learn to communicate a man’s inadequacies by not bruising his ego.

If he comes home late, look him in the eye and tell him that you were lonely without him, worried and afraid to lose him. If there is no food in the house, ask him what the two of you are going to do about it.

You see-it’s not what but how you say it that guarantees you a beating.

Like Martin Laurence said in the film "Bad Boys” after a good woman’s treatment, a man feels lighter on his feet, like he can achieve anything.

And hey, no one, woman or man, deserves a beating. Not at any one time. But the above are some of the scenarios that happen in real life.

In case, you get even a single slap, report to the authorities, that way, you will be safer.

Ends