Even the strongest person needs a shoulder to cry or lean on once in a while. With daily struggles, everyone needs that person they’re comfortable opening up to and offloading what’s on their mind, without being judged, or worried of having their problems shared in gossip.
There is nothing wrong in being vulnerable as long as you trust the right person, because not everyone that seems good to you can be trusted.
A number of people end up keeping so much to themselves, burdened with their careers, family, health, relationships, believing that if they open up to someone, they wouldn’t understand their situation. This just leaves them stressed, lonely, and in a state of anxiety.
Experts say being vulnerable is the first step towards happiness as being vulnerable permits others to see you clearly and provide help in the form of help, advice, affirmation, compassion, and validation.
Veenah Uwera, an entrepreneur in Kigali, says sometimes situations push people to even confide in strangers or people that they’re not close to.
She recalls getting onto a moto two years ago heading home and immediately the rider started sharing what was on his mind, he was concerned about how he would continue to provide for his three children and wife with his job that brought in little.
Uwera notes that the conversation proceeded until she reached her home in Kanombe, and she listened to him without interruption and offered him some advice because he seemed like he was losing his mind.
She explains that confiding in other people allows you to have other viewpoints that can change the way you see or judge things.
"When you let out an idea, you enable someone else assist you to build it, and guide you on how to go about it,” she notes.
According to Uwera, some people find it more comfortable sharing a part of themselves with friends or people who have been or are in their shoes, as compared to a counsellor they don’t know.
For instance, people with illnesses, such as cancer or HIV, prefer speaking to those in their situation as they can resonate with them. If not, they may confide in someone that they think will provide any kind of support, such as emotional, physical, and financial, she says.
However, she further notes, it is necessary to know if someone you’re opening up to can take it as you don’t want to pile a lot of information on them since it can be draining, emotionally.
"Opening up to others boosts bonds as people feel they deserve your trust, a thing that can strengthen communication, though the care and trust need to be reciprocated,” Uwera says.
She believes that there is no shame in asking and getting help. If possible, seek counselling.
It’s advisable to put your trust in people who are in your support system, regardless of the problem or situation, they would want to help you because they care for you.
According to a study by Medical News Today, confiding in others appears to reduce the risk of depression by 24 per cent. Social connection even provides some protection in people who were already at higher risk of depression due to their genetics or early life trauma.
Forbes, a media platform, states that you cannot become a confidant unless you are truly trustworthy, someone that can both be counted on and that people want to be with, seek first to understand, offer care and offer support, be genuine and be thoughtful at all times and put the person’s need ahead of yours. Make it all about them as this builds trust.