I was born in a family of seven boys and no sister; I was the youngest in that masculine family where the jungle law was all over the walls for every body to master.

Being the youngest, prompted our caring mother to protect me from my rogue brothers because she assumed I was vulnerable in their presence.

The jungle law at home was not a misplaced tactic given our family’s militaristic background. Our father until his death was a Second World War veteran casualty. All his offspring joined his military career.

I didn’t join the army willingly but to apologise to Gakuba, my brother, I followed of my sin.

I have always told you that I am not a family breaker and as a matter of fact can’t break my brother’s young family.  In the early 1970s, before he left for Afghanistan’s war between USA and USSR, Gakuba made sure he wedded Yunia, his university girlfriend.

No honeymoon, no consummating and off he went to the mountainous country amidst bullets with possibilities of not seeing his woman ever again.

By this time I was a senior bachelor residing under our mother’s huge bungalow and Yunia was to reside in our second house, a few meters away, to stay close to the family.

I swear my soldier brother picked the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on but I had vowed to myself and God never to see beyond her well curved knees and I had succeeded until that afternoon when she found me swimming.

"Hi shooter I am the most miserable wife of all time,” she started to narrate her ordeals to me, her brother-in-law as I came closer to the edge of the pool.

"Look, you love somebody, marry him and in no minute you don’t have him.” By now there was water running in her eyes but she was strong enough not to show.

Gakuba had been my worst bully as we grew up and I had not forgiven him for all the sibling rivalry but I would not play hanky panky with Yunia for any reasons.

I convinced myself. But she had come to the pool with only her silk lesu cloth wrapping her bikini that revealed every thing beauty means and I am sure I saw not only beyond the knees but her entire body.

With fish like swimming skills, she dived into the water and with her long nails, she pulled at my shoulders. "Shooter, I am really bored here it’s been six months now and my husband has not communicated,” she cried.

My consolation was, "Dear, your husband will be safe and return home after the war.” By now we were in each other’s embrace.

We continued to open up to each other and one night when there was no power and she picked me up to "give her company”; we sat under the candle light sipping on our Primus beer.

It was now past midnight when it started raining and I was forced to sleep over. Yes, you are all guessing what happened but people my heart didn’t want though my body was weak.

Our encounters became a routine until my mother caught us pants down.  Under fear of this abomination, she ran and drowned in the pool where it all started. And for me, I joined the army hoping I could see Gakuba and say sorry but I found he had not survived the war.

It has taken me so many years to get this weight off my chest. I hope by sharing it with you, a bit of my guilt will float away. I feel like it has.

Ends