I am a single mother of three children. I believe that I am independent though I still live with my parents. For some years I have enjoyed a very close relationship with my mother, but of recent I lost my well paying job and this has brought a lot of tension between the two of us.

I am in the process of starting my own business but the tension in the house is getting the better of me and I am not happy. What do I do since I can’t move out for lack of resources?

Domitillah.

Dear Domitillah,

It is always advisable that whenever one becomes independent, they should move out of their parents house, however how little their resources are.

Failure to do that from the word go, then you will not go anywhere.

No matter how independent you might feel, for as long as you still live in your parent’s house they will still have a controlling hand over everything that you do, meaning there is no decision that you will make without them contributing.

As for the tension, just give it a little bit of time and it will defuse once your parents realize that there is nothing they can do in your current situation, save to give you their moral support.

While you lost your good job, and you cannot reverse the situation I advise you to be strong and look into the future with a positive attitude because whatever has happened is water under the bridge, you have children to take care of and life to live.

Moving out of your parents’ house now will not solve anything; in fact you will only add more problems to yourself.

My advice to you is to sit down and think of another avenue that will earn you a living and support yourself and your children. Organize yourself and get going before you lose your network and be out of touch for long with people you have known and who can help you.

If you let people forget about you, it will take you many years before you can step back into action, so its now or never.

Ends