Diaspoman: How ‘Connect Africa’ helped me to connect

Last week I told you about my ‘Kiraka’ in one of Kigali’s busy companies where I started to work as a Computer Database specialist.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Last week I told you about my ‘Kiraka’ in one of Kigali’s busy companies where I started to work as a Computer Database specialist.

The timing of this ‘Kiraka’ was perfect. It coincided with the time when Rwanda was hosting some world leaders at the ICT conference coined "Connect Africa.” I felt that it was the right time for me to seriously polish my Database skills.

During the Connect Africa Summit, I stayed tuned to the trends. That is why I refused to dress up in T-shirts and Levis Jeans. Instead, I insisted on dressing up in my Diaspora suits and neck-ties.

I also insisted on shaving my head clean! It was so clean that people could see their own reflection as if they were using mirrors. I was entering the office as if I was the overall boss.

I sat in my corner and started to enter the data into the computer from the old and dusty box files. Obviously, it was not so surprising when some people popped into the office and mistook me for the real boss.

When I showed them who the boss was, they found it hard to hide their astonishment. My boss was always in T-shirts while I dressed to kill. I think the boss has started to think that I could be fighting for his job!

Anyway, in the evenings I walked through the streets with a folder under my armpit. Whenever I met anyone who knew me, I told them that I was attending the Connect Africa Summit.

I told them that I was into IT and that the opportunities to Connect Africa were enormous. The people I talked to tended to believe all I told them!

Once I realized that this trick was working, I started to believe that I could also connect myself to other things. As I have told you several times before, I have been under pressure to hook myself to what Mfashumwana likes to call "the chain keeper.”

I told myself that if we can Connect Africa that easily, I too could connect myself to a future bride. The old men in Mutara have been pushing me due to one reason – they want to have that chance of tanking several litres of Beers all the way from Kigali.

Whenever there is a wedding function, there are always untold volumes of booze to enjoy. That is why I have mounted a bridal hunt for some good years down. So, with this ‘Kiraka’ of mine, I have managed to convince some unsuspecting chicks that I am one of the Connect Africa Summit organizers.

I even risked losing my ‘Kiraka’ by inviting the chicks at lunch time to visit my so called office. I timed the moment when my Boss was out for lunch. That is when I called in the chicks for a tour around "my office.” I took them to my boss’ office for a soft drink.

I slumped myself into the boss’ leather sofas and then lifted my legs onto the desk. The chicks were amazed! Wow, is this really your office?

Oh yes, feel free and relax! Then I opened the small refrigerator and gave them some sodas. We continued to enjoy the ambience of my boss’ office until lunch time elapsed. It was time for my boss to come back and so I had to find a way of getting rid of these chicks.

I asked them to leave but they became stubborn. They insisted that they wanted to surf the internet and send some e-mails to their friends. They also wanted to use the office phone to call their folks abroad.

I already sensed trouble. I began to tremble because my boss would catch us at any moment. So, I had to play it cool by indirectly bribing the girls. I cajoled them into having lunch with me outside.

Since these were not ‘baturage’ girls, they recommended that I buy them lunch at the Serena Hotel. My choice was either to have an expensive lunch at Serena or lose my ‘Kiraka’ forever. But at least I didn’t lose, "Connect Africa helped me to connect…

diaspoman@yahoo.com