Dear Aunt Silvia, Am 25 years old, I had never made love to a woman since I was born. However, late last year and last month this year I tried to. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring the girl I was with to full pleasure, I ejaculated before she did and this happened 2 minutes into the act. Am wondering what’s wrong with me. Is there any other thing to be done in order to overcome this?John
Dear Aunt Silvia,
Am 25 years old, I had never made love to a woman since I was born. However, late last year and last month this year I tried to. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring the girl I was with to full pleasure, I ejaculated before she did and this happened 2 minutes into the act. Am wondering what’s wrong with me. Is there any other thing to be done in order to overcome this?
John
Dear John,
Causes of ejaculation problems vary, depending on the person involved and the type of problem. Problems can be complicated by having multiple causes.
Sometimes, an ejaculation problem can have both physical and psychological causes - for example, if a man had a previous health condition that made maintaining an erection difficult, it may now cause anxiety, leading to premature ejaculation which can be caused by:
Conditioning - many doctors believe that early sexual experiences can condition future sexual behaviour. So, if a teenager conditions himself to ejaculate quickly, in order not to be caught masturbating, or having sex, then it can be difficult to break the habit.
Trauma - a traumatic experience at an early age, involving sex, can lead to a life-long sexual anxiety. Experiences can range from the relatively mild, such as being caught masturbating, to the more serious, such as sexual abuse.
Upbringing - some men, who have had a strict upbringing, where sexual activity is only considered appropriate in certain circumstances, such as after marriage, may find it difficult to relax during sex, or be unable to not regard it as wrong or sinful.
No physical cause has been identified as leading to primary (life-long) premature ejaculation. While there are physical things that may lead to temporary premature ejaculation, in most cases, there is no reason why ejaculation cannot return to normal once the physical causes have been addressed.
Also some medicines are also known to cause primary ejaculation, including: antidepressants or those used to treat hypertension, and recreational drugs and alcohol. Once you identify where your problem lies- then you will be able to help yourself and overcome your problem.
If you have a girlfriend, you should share this problem with her, so that she helps you in the healing process, two heads are better than one. But if all fails, seek medical attention.