Although Rwanda ranks well globally when it comes to gender equality, an accusing finger has been pointed at culture as an impediment to the attainment of that equality, despite strong political will and legislative reforms.

Published this July, the 2022 Global Gender Gap Report ranks Rwanda as the first most gender-equal country in Africa and 6th in the world, indicating that among other things, the country has achieved parity at ministerial and parliamentary levels.

But much needs to be done, at least according to women’s rights activists, because despite the commendable milestones, "Rwanda remain a highly patriarchal society,” Annie Kayiraba, the Director of the Rwanda Initiative for Sustainable Development (RISD), told The New Times.

"Women are being married off too early. University girls are almost forced by the culture to be married while in school which affects their education advancement and that of the boys and their children, if they marry while in school,” Kayiraba said.

While this is only one of the common instances that sow gender inequality but seem normalised, Kayiraba says that Rwandan women have, throughout history, endured limited rights and opportunities.

She gave an example of a saying that goes "behind every successful man, there is a woman”, where in the context of Rwanda it seems that "behind every successful woman there is a man”.

"Women are described in terms of the men they "belong to”. "Whose daughter” meaning the father not the mother; "Whose wife”, "whose sister” so that they can be placed somewhere, depending on the man behind them. Instead of asking "what has she studied; where does she work” what business is she in…” Kayiraba said.

She further explained that while a Rwandan saying ‘the heart of a home is a woman,’ when it comes to ownership, the man is still believed to be the owner of the house, and not the wife.

"Even if a woman has contributed more to have the existence of this house, even if it’s a loan being serviced by a woman, the house belongs to a man,” Kayiraba said.

She also added that with the recent gains in women empowerment, family disputes are on the rise, as some men bar women from controlling the resources that they generate; seen as power competition; among siblings, boys who make little or no contribution to home matters want to make a decision on family property and development, and that parents still position boy child over girl child in terms of family decision, even if girls contribute the most economically, which is the common practice.

In a twitter space hosted by Rwanda Women’s Network under the theme "Gender stereotypes hindering gender equality while stimulating GBV,” culture and religion were said to be the pretexts people use to frustrate the quest for gender equality.

Dowry, for instance, one of the cultural practices that aren’t agreed upon, even by gender equality activists themselves. Some say it is fine, and others saying it is problematic as it is often taken as a price put on the bride.

Eric Shaba, a famous social media user, said dowry only becomes a problem when it is used against the woman to manipulate her or when it is bargained according to a woman’s education level or her other expected capabilities.

"Dowry is fine, and we don’t even need the government’s intervention, to say that dowry should be paid to men as well. The only problem with it is when it is taken as a price to buy a woman,” Shaba said.

But Marie Immaculée Ingabire, a feminist and human rights activist, disagrees with the whole concept, first because dowry has to be paid by the man, and second because it is used to get women into doing things they don’t want, and abuse too.

She narrated a recent case in Gicumbi District, where women reportedly said that their husbands ask them to "turn and give them what they paid dowry for” (meaning sex).

"When the child is crying, when the woman is tired, or hungry and thirsty, the man will say they paid dowry, so the woman is expected to give in. This is sex-based slavery,” Ingabire said.

Nevertheless, those who fight gender equality with the pretext of culture are lying, because culture is dynamic and can’t be simply measured from history, Robert Masozera, the Director General of the Rwanda Cultural Heritage told The New Times that culture does not say any gender is more superior to another. "When it comes ours, it even protects women from harm. Measuring culture from when women were not allowed to own land and other practices is wrong.

"Culture is dynamic, which means we learn from new concepts from other cultures and include some good practices in ours. In our culture, men and women complement each other depending on many things, but it doesn’t mean one is more superior to another,” Masozera said.

He also noted that when it comes to unpaid care work, which the culture loaded to women, such as cooking and cleaning the house, men do it too, and that it is not against the culture because things have changed.

Masozera noted that however, some gender roles should still be emphasized. Drumming, he said, should not be done by women.

"We still discourage women from drumming because the culture forbids it. Even historically, this practice was reserved for men because it requires a lot of energy, jumping, which may not be healthy for women given the nature of their bodies,” Masozera said.

Mary Balikungeri, the Executive Director of Rwanda Women’s Network said at the Twitter space that there is need to harmonise the law, culture, and human rights of people living their lives the way they want.

"We keep hearing that culture is not static. If we agree that culture is dynamic, what is getting in our way of being up-to-date? We also understand that culture is a way of life, and given the law and the right to live life the way one wants, connecting these concepts is a big challenge,” Balikungeri said.

Last week, a video of journalist Scovia Umutesi hosting a traditional wedding surfaced on different social media, and she may be the first woman to do it ever. Some welcomed it, others frowned upon it saying a woman shouldn’t do it.

What is undoubtable is that Rwandans are breaking gender norms, although there wasn’t a time they didn’t. However, more needs to be done.

"Given the high-level political commitment, positive steps have been made in the promotion of gender equality and women’s empowerment, but challenges to achieve this remain.

"Focus should be on equal opportunities for economic empowerment and the attitude of both women and men towards societal change,” Kayiraba said.