Zealous preacher

A zealous young preacher once met a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer’s soul the preacher asked him, "Are you labouring in the vineyard of the Lord my good man?”

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work the farmer replied, "hey, these are soybeans.”

"You don’t understand,” said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?”

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here.”

The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?”

"I’ve lived here all my life,” answered the farmer.

"Are you prepared for the resurrection?” the frustrated preacher asked.

This caught the farmer’s attention and he asked, "When’s it going to be?”

Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day.” Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don’t mention it to my wife. She doesn’t get along with it.”

Quotes

• "Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.”-- Carl Sandburg

• "Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.”-- Edward W. Howe

• "A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”--H. L. Mencken

• "Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp." --Bob Ettinger

Compiled BY LINDA MBABZI