Therese is hysterical and her voice is breaking from crying. She seems angry because apparently someone lied about something she said. No matter what she says in her defence and how much she cries, nobody seems to believe her.
Someone says, "I don’t have any reason to believe that she didn’t say it.” "Maybe she is innocent but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was guilty either,” another person says.
Are you Therese? Are you the friend who always learns things at the last minute? Do the voices that were loud suddenly go low when you enter the room? Do you think it is because they are scared of you, or maybe something is being hidden from you—like you can’t be trusted?
According to an article by Erica Sloan in Well+Good, psychotherapists are quoted on signs that untrustworthy people have in common. Untrustworthy people change details of the story, they exaggerate or omit some part of it. They always play the ‘victim’ even when it is crystal clear that they are in the wrong.
They are always involved in gossip and scandal. Their ‘word’ can’t be trusted when they say that they will do something because they have a history of being unreliable. They are also a tad hypocritical.
The list goes on and it is argued that in most cases, people go by their gut. People decide whether to trust you or not based on how they feel about you. Also, people will tend to trust you less if you don’t give them a sense of being safe in your presence. Which behaviour resonates with you?
Why should you care about being trustworthy?
Trustworthiness is a strength, for a leader, a parent, a lover, a friend, or simply a person in many different situations of life, especially those that involve interacting with other people.
According to an article by Life Time, trust is earned and there are ways to develop it. Below are tips that can be taken into consideration:
Transparency and accountability
Make your intentions known. Be clear about what you want from someone else and what they should expect from you too. Most importantly, let it be the truth.
It is not enough to be honest, because intentions are not enough if the commitment is not honoured. The icing on the cake is consistency. Keep your word, but even when you are not able to, communication helps to prevent deception.
Avoid gossip overall
Through gossip, you lose trust from both the person whose information you betrayed and the person whom you shared it with. Neither of them will trust you again and it won’t be long before they warn their own circles against your untrustworthiness as well.
Work on your trust issues
People tend to trust those who trust them as well. It may be risky to open up and be vulnerable, but it is the only way to share your values, goals and basically your story, which is what gets the other person to open up to you too.